Today, I was going to write a post filled with the wisdom that comes with aging and retirement. However, as so often happens in these laissez faire days of my retirement, I wandered off course on my internet search for suitable quotes.
So, without further ado, in the words of the inimitable Phyllis Diller:
- You know you’re old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes and you’re barefoot.
- If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough.
- I never made ‘Who’s Who’ but I’m featured in ‘What’s That’.
- You know you’re old if they’ve discontinued your blood type.
- The doctor looked over my body. I said: Is there any hope? He said “Yes, reincarnation”.
- The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.
- You know you’re old when your walker has an airbag.
- My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.
- I have so many liver spots, I ought to come with a plate of onions.
- I was so wrinkled I could screw my hat on.
And in memory of her youth – in the words of Phyllis Diller:
- All I learned at my mother’s knee was that she had a bony knee.
- My mother hated me. Once she took me to an orphanage and told me to mingle.
That’s it for today. I hope it brought a smile to your face. 😊 For those too young to remember, Phyllis Diller was a classic with her trademark ‘finger stuck in a light socket hairdo’. She was one of the great ones.
Take care & have a great day! 💞
Seclusion 101 with AnneMarie 
A hilarious comedian! She (you) had me with her tricky knee (which remained hidden)-hahaha…
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That one cracked me up! Have a great day, Neese. ☀️
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She was hilarious, my mother and I cracked up so much watching her. ❤️
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Yep, Good times. 😂
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I enjoyed the humor. Getting old is also personally amusing for me.
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I miss her and a lot of other wonderful comedians that gave me laughs many times. I enjoyed this post and laughed at her quotes you shared. Her hair-do always made me laugh, no matter how many times I saw her.
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Ya, it cracks me up. 😂
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She was hilarious. Comedians and comediennes were so much better back then.
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Indeed they were.
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In the 1990’s, I saw Phyllis live in Wichita and remember how many people in Tour Buses were bussed in from all over.
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Excellent
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Glad I could trigger some good memories, Geoff! I could handle getting on a bus for a Phyllis Diller show. 😁
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Phyllis Diller was the best, so authentic and hilarious!! Miss her and thanks for the quotes! 🤣💕
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Thank you, Diana. She was always one of my favourites!
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