In My Own Mind

As with anything else in life, retirement is pretty much what you make of it. Regardless of actual circumstances, there are people who enjoy it and make the most of it and those who are miserable.

People who have typically been happy and content throughout life, have little trouble adjusting to retirement. They take it upon themselves to find ways to keep active, which will in turn help to keep them healthy. They use their time on worthwhile and satisfying endeavors, they keep engaged and in touch with their family, friends and community. And finally, they take a sensible approach to their finances, ensuring that they live within their means.

On the other hand, if someone has been relatively miserable throughout their life, clinging to a victim or poverty mentality, blaming others for challenges in their life and making others responsible for their happiness and well-being, then retirement is not going to go well for them . They are on a collision course with declining health, a deteriorating mind, loneliness, boredom, depression and financial issues

If you have gotten into the habit of being pessimistic and miserable. it is never too late to change. These days, it seems that many seniors take pride in being miserable, like it is a badge of honor. It is not. It does nothing for you and nothing for those around you. It is not anyone’s responsibility but your own to make your life, at any stage, meaningful and pleasant. If you do not know how, start reading. There are numerous self-help books available. They may not be geared towards retirement and not every one may be as meaningful or as helpful as others, but if you keep reading and searching, you will find helpful advice. If you are not inclined to read, take a walk or do anything positive and pro-active. Start taking responsibility for your attitude and you will find that you ultimately have the power to improve your life.

If you are the partner of someone who tends to be miserable, you need to know that you cannot make someone else be happy if they choose not to be. You can destroy your own happiness and contentment trying and they will be no less miserable. You may believe you are making them happier by sacrificing your needs for their wants, because they are momentarily happy to have what they want, but that does not make them happy. That just encourages them to keep being miserable to get more of what they want. Couples spend a lot of time together in retirement. If your partner is the type to be miserable, you need to make it very clear that you are not responsible for their happiness so they can address their issues.

If you or your partner are typically happy and well adjusted, a sudden change in attitude could be brought on by medical issues and should be checked out by a professional, sooner than later. Even if a serious medical issue is found to be the problem, it is ultimately easier and less stressful to actually know what is causing the problem and deal with it, than to deal with the unknown. Once you regain control of your mindset, you will be back on track for the retirement you deserve.