Author: annemariedemyen

Wife, mother, grandmother dogmother - lover of nature, peace and tranquility. RETIRED. Life is good!

PTSD

by annemariedemyen, posted in Uncategorized

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I know that in its worst form it destroys lives. I have struggled to deal with anxiety issues throughout my life and a lot of them are much improved. It is only recently – last December actually – that I realized that my worst anxiety issues now are a result of a mild form of PTSD.

The month of December has been difficult for me since 1993. That is the year my father passed away on December 17th. I was very close to him and it broke my heart, which would be expected. But it was so much more than that. My father had been dealing with cancer of the sinuses for five years – it was a horrid ordeal. Despite working and raising three pre-teen to teenage children at the time, I did everything I could to help my parents through these years. I was the youngest of the family, I was living the closest to my parents, and much of my dad’s medical attention and treatment was done in Regina, where I live. I have five other siblings, all of who did everything they could for our parents, but a lot of it fell on me. It was incredibly hard.

But, there was so much more. I was married to my first husband at the time. The first eleven years of my first marriage were dysfunctional. The last seven years were violent, abusive and traumatizing for me and our children. There was seldom a day when there was not a violent or hateful outburst. To say that he was not supportive of what I was dealing with was an understatement. I had decided that I had to remove my children and myself from the situation a couple of weeks before my father’s diagnosis. After that, I felt compelled to stay until he was gone. My husband felt compelled to take advantage of the situation and make our lives a living hell.

Five months after my father passed away, I told my husband I was done. A few weeks later we moved out.

I was worn out. We moved into a small three bedroom basement apartment. I slept in our kitchen/livingroom so the kids could each have their own bedroom. I worked eighty hours a week and spent the rest of my working hours being a full-time home maker. It sounds rough, but we were really happy and starting to heal. Things got better, we got a better car, we moved to a nice little duplex. I met my current husband and my kids grew up, moved out and started their own families. Life still has its ups and downs but I am okay.

And then there is another December. The decorations go up, the carols start playing and my heart breaks. This week we had an incident at work. One of my co-workers had a violent outburst. He slammed through the shop, swearing, kicking things, having a man size tantrum. I have been shaking ever since.

The thing is, it’s okay. I get that my physical and emotional and mental reactions are about my past, not my present. I know I am in a safe place now. I also know I am stronger for having been through my past. In December, I have a really deep compassion for those who are dealing with the loss of a loved one or any of the other heartbreaks that are worse in December. When I see someone being a bully, having a man size tantrum, I am reminded how very fortunate I am to be with my with my current husband. I have the courage to stand up for those who are being bullied and I am proud that my sons and my daughter do as well.

As difficult as these episodes of PTSD are, I know they make me a better person. As long as good can come out of the worst times of my life, I am okay with that.

Alberta Devonian Gardens

by annemariedemyen, posted in Uncategorized

With snow on the ground, this seemed like a good day to share a few pics of our trip to the Devonian Gardens just outside of Edmonton Alberta. Set in a backdrop of natural evergreens, there are acres of cultured gardens, unique architecture and even a small butterfly house.

One of a Number of Water Features
Flower Beds
Bonsai Garden
Oriental Gardens
Sculptures
Inside the Butterfly House
Still in the Butterfly House
Ringing The Gong For Good Luck!

Time With Kat

by annemariedemyen, posted in Uncategorized
Kat Napping

My husband is on his last night shift this week so I am sitting here, hanging out with Kat. She’s looking a little bored tonight but she will have excitement soon enough.

My son and his family are coming for a few days after Christmas. They stay at a hotel with a waterpark while they are here but Kat gets to host their dogs.

Cornelius facing camera

Baccardi and Kat


This will be Cornelius’s first stay over. It will be fine during the day. They all get along and we have a large fenced in yard for them to run around in during the day. The nights could be a bit more challenging as they are all used to sleeping on the bed. Fun times!

For My Husband

by annemariedemyen, posted in Uncategorized

I am home for the weekend and my husband is working a five day/twelve hour shift so I made him a puffed wheat cake. I went and bought baking supplies today so maybe tomorrow I will bake him some tarts. Neither of us need a lot of desert but he can always bring some to the guys who work with him on the mills. They get treats and we get variety. Sounds like a win, win to me!

Family

by annemariedemyen, posted in family

My Parent’s 50th Anniversary

My parents were both born into large families. My father had twenty siblings and my mother had nine. By the time I was born, both families had scattered across the country, but they kept in touch. They would visit back and forth, celebrate holidays together and have family gatherings They were there for each other during good times and bad – always.

My parents had five daughters and one son. I was the youngest. From the time I can remember, my two oldest sisters were married and living away from home. My brother was ten years older than I, so he was in highschool when I was starting grade one. Regardless, I always knew all of my family. The older siblings would come home with their famlies to visit and we would go to visit them. I saw them regularly. Once we were all grown up, we were widespread, but we kept in touch and got together. We would gather on a regular basis. We all spent time with our parents and they would come to spend time with us. As our parents aged, and their health failed, we were there to support them, and each other. To this day, we keep in touch via social media, we call, we visit. We were, and we still are, family.

Back in my day, family meant something. Family was a commitment. Family was loyalty, respect, shared memories and a shared unconditional love for our parents and each other. We are not always super close, geographically or otherwise. We have our differences and we certainly all have our faults, but we would never deliberately or spitefully hurt each other. There is always a line of consideration that we do not cross as family. Family, and extended family matters.

Nowdays families are shattered on a regular basis. My own sons and daughter have little love or respect for each other. Their love and respect for me only goes so far. They certainly do not maintain peace in the family for my sake or anyone else’s. This has caused me much grief over the years. I have come to accept it, not because I want to, but because it is not my choice.

Our family is hardly unique. This is the norm for many these days. Family or not, you disagree with me, you cross me one way or another and you are toxic and you are out. There is no going back. I know sisters and brothers in their eighties who have nothing to do with each other, parents who won’t speak to their children, children who will not speak to their parents and children who do not know their aunts or uncles or cousins. Many, if not most, of these family breakdowns could have been resolved with a reasonable conversation, but people don’t want to talk and they certainly are not willing to listen.

It is a shame and it is beyond sad, especially during the holiday season, that families cannot set aside their differences. It is a shame that family members are strangers, that memories cannot be made or shared, and that traditions are lost. It is a shame that generations of children are growing up without the stability and security of extended family. It is terrible that such selfishness and disrespect shatters so many families.

It is not a wonder that there is so much conflict and violence in the world. Love and peace and respect and kindness are learned at home. If this is not what we are teaching our families, than what are we releasing into the world?

National Construction Day

by annemariedemyen, posted in career

Today is National Construction Day in Canada. I thought I would share a few pictures of exterior products we carry. These products are more challenging to tender so generally involve more input from my boss – especially if we are to do the installation.

Architectural louvres supplied for a commercial development in Saskatoon
Sunshades at the City of Regina Asset Management Building. Landscaping can make some exterior installations challenging and memorable.
Explosion Relief Panels
Vision Barrier used to keep rooftop mechanical units from view

Monday

by annemariedemyen, posted in Uncategorized

Good Morning! For anyone out there who is sharing in our return to winter I thought I would post a few pictures of our trip to Souris, Manitoba a couple of years ago.

The Souris swinging bridge. It is much more substantial than its predecessor.  That one was the source of decades of  nightmares for me!
The 500 year old mystic oak tree. A challenge to find but worth the effort.
A sea of ground cover around the mystic tree. My photo doesn’t do it justice.
Ok not from our trip to Souris, but Dan took me there for our anniversary 💖 so I decided to sneak it in.

Have a good Monday! Drive safe out there.

It’s What I Do …. for now

by annemariedemyen, posted in Uncategorized

Retirement is coming. Some days it seems like it will never get here and other days it seems like the weeks are flying by. In 245 days I will be retired. In reality, I only have another 144 days left, after deducting for Christmas break, our trip to Costa Rica, weekends and stat holidays. Considering how far I have come, I am darn close to the finish line.

For anyone who is interested, I thought I would share a few pictures of a few of the products I have been selling for the past fifteen years.

Residential Sales – Railcraft Railing and Duradek vinyl decking – back in my residential sales days.
On to Commercial Sales – Insulated Shutters that we installed in a building the size of seven football fields.
Acrovyn Wall Protection. Miles and miles of handrail, crashrail, corner guards and sheet material.
Corflex Operable walls – We are the go to company for operable walls in Saskatchewan.
Cubicle Track and Privacy Curtains for Health Facilities
Corflex Accordion Doors – popular in schools and church halls
Corflex Acoustic Glasswalls are getting more and more popular as high-end companies and public facilities increase the use of flex space.
Security Grilles, used most often in malls, but sometimes used to beef up entrances to banks, pharmacies, jewellery stores and the like.
Sopers Washbay Curtains – just one of many areas that we did in a huge facility.
Hockey Nets to maximize ice space and safety for hockey practice🇨🇦
Toolboards specially designed by my boss for a massive, modern autobody shop in Regina. (Some professional engineering required!)

We carry several more products – foot grilles, aluminum shutters, rolling grilles, access hatches, and industrial ladders just to name a few.

A lot of our sales come from tendered projects but we do a fair amount of aftermarket, designbuild, and retail sales. In my mind, the thing to remember is “every sale matters“. I have sold 50 curtain carriers and had clients come back to buy thousands of dollars worth of curtains. Regardless of the contract or the sale, do it right. Every sale is an opportunity to gain a loyal customer. Really, it is that easy.