affection – Seclusion 101 with AnneMarie

Yesterday, I may have been a little dubious about the power of hugs but as usual, our granddaughter, Genie had to pop in to convince me to rethink matters.

I love teenagers. When my kids were teenagers, they were the best and they had the best friends. We were ‘the house‘. Having left my husband, to raise and support three teenagers alone, it was not the biggest or the fanciest house. It was a safe house, a secure house, a peaceful house, and a happy house. That is all my kids and their friends wanted. A place to watch a movie or play a board game or eat a week’s supply of homemade stew at one sitting. There were not a lot of rules, other than the obvious ones like no drugs or alcohol but the first rule was always RESPECT yourself, RESPECT each other and RESPECT Mrs. N. (This was before I remarried and became Grandma D.) They all had their moments and no doubt a few challenging days but they were adorable. Nowdays, my kids and their friends are all in or close to their forties. They were good, responsible teenagers and they have all become responsible adults with children of their own, who are coming into their own as teenagers.

This brings me back to Genie and her friends. Genie is amazing. She is smart and beautiful and kind and (generally) responsible. Her friends seem to be likewise. They are all really good kids – until the DRAMA kicks in. Then they are still good kids but more dramatically so. When did teenagers become so insecure and stubborn and dramatic?

Yesterday, Dan and I were watching the news, while supper cooked, and Genie came crashing in with her friend Lucas. Earlier she had texted to tell me she had gotten a 95% on her final English exam for the semester. She was beyond excited. Yay, Genie! She comes bouncing in dragging Lucas behind her. Lucas did not fare as well and unfortunately came up short on his math exam. Genie had taken Lucas to the Cornwall Centre to meet up with friends in an effort to cheer him up. It obviously did not work very well so Grandma and Grandpa D’s it was. We visited for half an hour, chatted with Genie, commiserated with Lucas and it was time for them to head out. Grandpa gave Genie her usual bear hug, as did I, then I turned to Lucas and offered him a hug as well. (I knew from previous visits that he was a hugger). He jumped at the offer and smiled for the first time during their visit. He looked better for the hug and Dan and I both assured him that in the overall scheme of things, he would be fine.

I may not be totally convinced but I do think my hug for Lucas yesterday helped him turn a corner on his day. I certainly hope both Genie and Lucas did well on their exams today. Fingers crossed.🤞

Today is the International day of hugs. I have to admit, I am not the most touchy feely person and I am rattled more than a little when someone spontaneously hugs me, especially if it is someone I have just met or someone I do not know very well. Occasionally, someone will ask if it would be ok to hug me. I generally agree although there have been times when I have just declined with a simple “No, I’m good”. Actually it was one time and he was a pre-plan funeral salesman. It was just wierd.

Despite my reluctance to hug willy-nilly, there have been a number of studies that have shown that hugging has potential benefits – physically and emotionally. Newborns, are known to thrive when the they are hugged, compared to those who are deprived of such physical interaction. The same theory must also be popular with seniors. I am pretty sure one of the prerequisites for working in a nursing home is the ability to pass around hugs like hard candies – which is another story of mine altogether.

I honestly do admire people who are capable of giving out spontaneous hugs to anyone in their immediate vicinity. I had a brother-in-law who gave the best bear hugs. He was an amazing man with a big heart and a total joie de vivre. Unfortunately, he died in a vehicle accident many years ago. The likes of Paul are few and far between. My kids are all good and natural huggers but they are all a little cautious about who they hug. My grandchildren hug anybody, their friends are huggers, it is somewhat of a ‘thing’ with the lot of them.

Happy ‘International Day of Hugs’! It is only one day of the year, make the most of it. Hug your mother, your friend, your sister, or your dog. Hug a stranger – but like not me. I’m good🤗

Tag: affection

International Hug Day part 2

International Day of Hugs