Tag: determination

When I decided to focus on improving my level of activity in 2026, I was excited to do so.  I had been taking collagen supplements for four or five months and they were doing wonders for me! I was enjoying so many benefits – the best of which was a stability in my lungs that I had not experienced for five years.

My lungs were doing so well that my constant cough was down to a slight annoyance.   Most notable was my morning walk with Dan and Molly,  where amazingly I could keep up with them without triggering any coughing, much less the violent coughing fits that I had grown accustomed to.

So, I was anticipating welcoming 2026 STRONG!  I was anticipating increasing  the amount and intensity of my physical activities.  I was anticipating everything that would become easier in my day to day life – any and all of those daily chores that I struggled with – operating our snowblower, moving furniture to vaccuum,  lifting our larger pots and pans. 

And then… I was called up for my hernia surgery.   It shouldn’t be a big deal.  It wouldn’t be a big deal – especially once the anaesthesioligist  decided to go with a spinal, rather than general, anaesthetic. 

I went through my presurgical clinic, followed all the required preparations.  I showed up for my surgery ready to crush it and leave, strong and able.

But, I didn’t.  I came out of surgery congested, coughing, struggling to get  and keep my oxygen levels up to acceptable levels.  I figured it was from lingering freezing, from the stress of being in the operating room surrounded by stangers and the buzz and beeps of the monitors that surrounded me.  I thought I would be fine when I got home.

But I wasn’t.  I was not in acute pain, but I felt rough.  While I tried to keep up my strength by moving around the house.   I definitely was not working out (which my surgeon had cleared me to do).  I was not going outside to get fresh air or challenging the snow and ice covered streets with a walk.   I was indulging in the comfort foods of the season – and resting.

And I was feeling progressively worse.  My lungs still felt stable but my cough was getting worse.  So I did what I do – I panicked.  My mind played out memories from the past prior to aerobics, collagen supplements, mindful eating, air purifiers, fresh air walks, and treadmill and light weight workouts. 

I KNEW that my respiratory system was failing.  Another session of antibiotics and Prednisone became a disturbing possibility.  The memory of regular, miserable, exhausting chills and fevers kept me awake at night.  Checking my tissue after each violent coughing fit became a terrifying reminder of pneumonia and mucus thick with blood clots from deep in my lungs.  I was a mess..

Until, I said NO to everything my mind was throwing at me.  I know my lungs are stronger.  I know I am healthier.  I know that whatever happened in that operating room was NOT traumatic enough to destroy everything that I have worked for in the past four years. 

And I remembered… after the anaesthesiologist did my spinal he helped  me to lay down, adjusted my pillow,  AND he placed a mask on my face and told me he would give me a bit of oxygen to help keep me comfortable.

I don’t KNOW what my deal with oxygen systems is (I am pretty sure I know..) but when I spent three weeks in this hospital years ago with pneumonia, a collapsed lung, and epyema, the worst thing was the oxygen.  It destroyed my sinuses, it made me miserable, and while I felt better after they took it off – the effects lasted for weeks.

Anyway, I am not dying!  🤦‍♀️

I am not greeting 2026 with unlimited strength and stamina ready to transcend all previous efforts to meet and surpass every  physical challenge that presents itself.

But, I am ready to transcend this habit of mine of taking every minor health setback and turning it into a medical crisis.  I am gradually taking back my daily workouts, my diet controls, and my fresh air fixes.

And I have regained my excitent and anticipation of 2026.  I am committed to increasing my level of activity and finishing this year stronger and healthier than I started it.

When you’re on the older side of the age spectrum, you often get more credit than you deserve for simply showing up to do some- thing physically challenging. Nobody expects much from you and the temptation is there to perform to those very low expectations. Showing up is an important first step, but if you plan to show up, you may as well show the  f#@k up!

I am not positive if this quote came from David Goggins or if it was Dane Sanders, but today it is my motivation to move forward.