November 6 – Off Course

Today, I was going to write a post filled with the wisdom that comes with aging and retirement. However, as so often happens in these laissez faire days of my retirement, I wandered off course on my internet search for suitable quotes.

So, without further ado, in the words of the inimitable Phyllis Diller:

  • You know you’re old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes and you’re barefoot.
  • If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough.
  • I never made ‘Who’s Who’ but I’m featured in ‘What’s That’.
  • You know you’re old if they’ve discontinued your blood type.
  • The doctor looked over my body. I said: Is there any hope? He said “Yes, reincarnation”.
  • The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.
  • You know you’re old when your walker has an airbag.
  • My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.
  • I have so many liver spots, I ought to come with a plate of onions.
  • I was so wrinkled I could screw my hat on.

And in memory of her youth – in the words of Phyllis Diller:

  • All I learned at my mother’s knee was that she had a bony knee.
  • My mother hated me. Once she took me to an orphanage and told me to mingle.

That’s it for today. I hope it brought a smile to your face. 😊 For those too young to remember, Phyllis Diller was a classic with her trademark ‘finger stuck in a light socket hairdo’. She was one of the great ones.

Take care & have a great day! 💞


14 thoughts on “November 6 – Off Course

  1. I miss her and a lot of other wonderful comedians that gave me laughs many times. I enjoyed this post and laughed at her quotes you shared. Her hair-do always made me laugh, no matter how many times I saw her.

    Liked by 1 person

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