letting go – Seclusion 101 with AnneMarie

Like most parents, I thought I had a pretty decent concept of parenting while my kids were ‘kids’. The one area where I really struggled was my tendency to worry about them, much like my Mother worried about my siblings and I, and her Mother worried about her and her siblings. It is a Mother thing that is harder to overcome than most mother things, as I mentioned in a September 2020 blog post.

https://seclusion101withannemarie.com/2020/09/19/parenting-101/

My sons and my daughter are now in their fabulous forties and amazingly I have my maternal worrying somewhat under control.

It is funny how young parents worry about the terrible two’s and the terrifying teen’s. Those were too easy. Toddlers are adorable – regardless of where they are stuffing the marachino cherries and grilled cheese sandwiches. Teens are a hoot – a constant source of amusement and delightful drama.

I won’t deny it. The forties are ugly. (My mother definitely worried as I approached mine!)

I have one son who seems to be dealing fairly well – he keeps busy and has an amazing wife and family. His twenties were seriously trying, but he seems to be handling the forties.

The other son is well into his forties. He has made a lot of changes in his life in the past few years. It remains to be seen how they will go for him.

I manage to forgo the worrying for both of my sons these days, and just send them warm and fuzzy feelings on a regular basis.

I still tend to worry about my daughter (and her family). I know that is not good. Just as Jennifer is responsible for her family, for the decisions she has made and for the consequences of her decisions, I am responsible for my own mental health and well being. I am responsible for creating a happy, peaceful home for myself and my husband. I am responsible for living my best life. I raised all of my kids to the best of my abilities. There comes a time to let go and trust that they have whatever it takes to live their own best lives.

So, there you have it. As a mother, I still worry – but I am gradually getting better and I am getting better about holding myself accountable.

That’s it for today. Take care and have a great day!💞

Every year I choose one aspect of my life to focus special attention on. This year I chose to focus on peace. Every morning, I begin my day by copying ‘peaceful’ positive affirmations in my journal. Throughout the day, when I find myself tensing up for any reason, I stop for a moment to focus on peace. When things go wrong, I try to think “Is this worth losing peace over?” At night, I drift off to sleep focussed on peaceful thoughts.

So far, this year has not been perfect. There have been challenges with my health, family issues, employment issues and general life issues plus the uncertainty that comes from such things as a global pandemic. Regardless, I have felt a profound change in the way I process it all. I find it easier to let go of control or expectations. I find it easier to appreciate the moments in life that are worth cherishing. I find it easier to just ‘be in the moment’. I find it easier to laugh and smile and just feel good. I am finding it easier to create a peaceful vibe around me, like the people I have most admired in my life.

I am not always where I would like to be on my quest for peace. There are anxious moments and stressful days, when I feel less than peaceful. There are people who seem intent on drama and creating chaos. At times, I feel more frustrated and annoyed with them than peaceful. However, overall I feel I am making significant progress. I have another 228 days to focus on peace and I know that I am on a good track for a significantly better life experience.

Life is not always great, sometimes it is not even good – but I honestly believe that we can live it better. It takes work and perseverance and time – but life can be better.

Tag: letting go

February 14th – Parenting 101 version 2.0

Peaceful Progress