Parenting 101

My Parents’ 50th Anniversary (1989)

On January 1st, I made a commitment to make PEACE my priority this year. I have made a strong and consistent effort to stay true to my commitment. In many ways, I have made significant progress in becoming less anxious and in making my life more peaceful.

There is one area of my life where I continue to struggle on a regular basis . My problem area is parenting – and grandparenting – and when the time comes (if I do not pull myself together) – it will be great-grandparenting. 👵

The problem (for me) started with my Mother. She taught me, that if you love someone you care about them. If you care about someone you WORRY about them. I am sure that is what her Mother taught her and, God forbid, that is what I taught my children. 🤦

I love my children and I adore their children. I care immensely about them all. So, when my children or grandchildren face any challenge whatsoever, I worry. If they face a serious challenge, I go into a full-blown anxious meltdown.

I know in my mind that I am over reacting. I have faced challenges in my life. I have made bad choices and I have had to deal with the consequences. I have had my heart broken. I have tried and failed. I have struggled with health and finances and grief. I have survived and, more often than not, I have come through each challenge stronger and better for having been through it.

I know my children and grandchildren are smart and capable and resilient and everything else that they need to be to survive every challenge that they will face in life. I want to stop worrying about them and start showing them that I believe in them. Regardless of the situation, I want to be a strong and calm presence in their life.

I have long believed that “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself”. This quotation has been repeated by many strong men throughout history. It is true and so extremely important! It is the basis of my commitment to making peace my priority this year.

There is nothing more debilitating than fear. Fear makes any challenge – physical, mental, or emotional – all the more difficult to conquer. Fear makes any dream or goal all the more difficult to achieve. I know because I have too often allowed fear to rule me. I do not want it to rule me or my family going forward!

There is no form of fear that is productive or helpful. Worrying about those you love, even your precious children and grandchildren is not productive or helpful. If anything, it undermines their confidence and that is unhelpful and detrimental to their well being! Worse yet, it teaches them to perpetuate this unhealthy form of love when then become parents and grandparents.

Going forward this year, I will continue to make peace my focus – for myself, my children, and my grandchildren. 🕊️

10 thoughts on “Parenting 101

  1. My grandmother used to make me sit down in her rocking chair and then she said worry as hard as you can and then get up and see if it made any difference. Our family too has been through many ups and downs. You are proof that all of can be survived and learned from.. You are the person who can teach them that. Your experiences are there for them so that they can be strengthened by them. I have found that this is what I am here for. I can’t panic or worry because I have to help.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Love the big family picture. What a great capture in time. I don’t think I have an abnormal amount of worry for my kids or grands. Most of it simply consists of asking God to keep them safe and healthy. How many years past 50 did your folks make it? My mom died one month after their 62nd anniversary. Hubs and I celebrate number 51 tomorrow. Feels like it should be 25. Time, it’s going too fast…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Congratulations! My Dad developed cancer shortly after their fiftieth anniversary. He passed away four and a half years later (he was 83). My Mom lived another twenty years after he passed. (She was just weeks short of 95 when she died). A lot has happened since my parents have been gone but for sure the time has gone by quickly!

    Like

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