February 14th – Parenting 101 version 2.0

Like most parents, I thought I had a pretty decent concept of parenting while my kids were ‘kids’. The one area where I really struggled was my tendency to worry about them, much like my Mother worried about my siblings and I, and her Mother worried about her and her siblings. It is a Mother thing that is harder to overcome than most mother things, as I mentioned in a September 2020 blog post.

https://seclusion101withannemarie.com/2020/09/19/parenting-101/

My ‘little ones’
Mark, Jen & Dan with Grandma
In recenter years

My sons and my daughter are now in their fabulous forties and amazingly I have my maternal worrying somewhat under control.

It is funny how young parents worry about the terrible two’s and the terrifying teen’s. Those were too easy. Toddlers are adorable – regardless of where they are stuffing the marachino cherries and grilled cheese sandwiches. Teens are a hoot – a constant source of amusement and delightful drama.

I won’t deny it. The forties are ugly. (My mother definitely worried as I approached mine!)

I have one son who seems to be dealing fairly well – he keeps busy and has an amazing wife and family. His twenties were seriously trying, but he seems to be handling the forties.

The other son is well into his forties. He has made a lot of changes in his life in the past few years. It remains to be seen how they will go for him.

I manage to forgo the worrying for both of my sons these days, and just send them warm and fuzzy feelings on a regular basis.

I still tend to worry about my daughter (and her family). I know that is not good. Just as Jennifer is responsible for her family, for the decisions she has made and for the consequences of her decisions, I am responsible for my own mental health and well being. I am responsible for creating a happy, peaceful home for myself and my husband. I am responsible for living my best life. I raised all of my kids to the best of my abilities. There comes a time to let go and trust that they have whatever it takes to live their own best lives.

So, there you have it. As a mother, I still worry – but I am gradually getting better and I am getting better about holding myself accountable.

That’s it for today. Take care and have a great day!πŸ’ž

34 thoughts on “February 14th – Parenting 101 version 2.0

  1. I think you’re early on this one. What are you going to do tomorrow? Hmmm. Wine?

    On Mon., Feb. 14, 2022, 1:39 p.m. Seclusion 101 with AnneMarie, wrote:

    > annemariedemyen posted: ” Like most parents, I thought I had a pretty > decent concept of parenting while my kids were ‘kids’. The one area where I > really struggled was my tendency to worry about them, much like my Mother > worried about my siblings and I, and her Mother worried ab” >

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You are a great mom πŸŒ·πŸ™πŸŒ· our duty is raised our children nicely give education,
    And leave them to live their own family life !! If they want help we must do , so when
    We need them, sure they will come and care , Specially a single mom’s life like me πŸŒ·πŸ™

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m sorry. If I had known I was going to be blamed and hated on for everything lacking in their lives at this point, I wouldn’t have tried so hard. Apparently THAT made me responsible. 🀦

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  4. Your kids are my age. I don’t have any, but my mom used to say the same thing. She said parents worry about their kids as long as both parties are still alive.
    What a blessing that they are all healthy and appear to be in good physical condition. I think about that a lot with gratitude lists. Because many things swirl around besides covid. People forget about other diseases from the beginning of time that cherry pick unlucky individuals before they even hit 40.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. The one I worried about as a teenager seems to have a handle on life in his 30’s. Wife, house, dogs, lots of R & R. The one I didn’t worry about then has provided enough worry now. My 96 year old mom still worries about me.

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  6. The ones that do not rebel as teenagers, do seem to backlash in a big way later it life. My three seem to take turns. I hope we both find peace at some point – and of course your mother as well. πŸ’ž

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  7. She’s recently been diagnosed with ADHD along with depression and anxiety. A lot of stuff in her life now makes more sense. Perhaps she/we are on the right path now with meds and counselling. Fingers crossed. My mother — I still have to phone and tell her I made the 3 1/2 hour car trip home ok! Bernie

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I have come to believe that my daughter suffers from an undiagnosed condition. I am definitely no expert in the field of mental health but it would make sense. Unfortunately, she believes every issue in her life and every wrong turn she has made is someone else’s fault (currently mine). I want her to have a good life – I want her to live her best life. But I have no way to reach her (especially now that she is hating on me.) Her daughter has tried to get her to reach out for professional health but she is convinced that she is not the problem…. Hi to Mom! (I remember those days and I even miss them. πŸ’ž) Good luck to you and your daughter. I wish you both the best. 🀞

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  9. I think it’s natural for mothers to worry about their kids. They just want what’s best for them. It sounds like you’ve done your part when it comes to making sure your kids feel loved and supported. Now it’s up to them.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I think I’ll bookmark this comment for future reference. Both my teens are worrying me and driving me up a tree. That better mean that they’ll get their shit together by the time they’re 40!!

    Liked by 1 person

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