The Psychology of (my) Retirement

In less than six months I will be retired. I was so excited about the possibilities when I made my decision to embark on this new phase of my life. My family and friends supported me. It was all good!

Somehow the closer I get, the harder this has been getting. Retirement has not been looking that promising. Finally, in total frustration, I sat down and wrote a blog about my current struggles. I put it all out there. (Well most of it). I hit publish and went to bed. When I woke up the next morning, I suddenly realized what I was really struggling with.

For the past five decades, I have been in the enviable position of being a ‘caregiver’. I have had the physical, mental, emotional and financial ability to help and support others – husbands, children, grandchildren, parents, siblings, employers, co-workers, friends and the occasional stranger. Now, I am suddenly planning for a life where my main focus is caring for me. It never occurred to me that such a change in focus would be a problem for me, much less others – especially those who I have done the most for over the years.

There are probably a lot of people who come up against these mental struggles when they are planning or kicking off their retirement. I wonder why nobody talks about them. 🙄

Jen & Danny with friend Dave. (Almost family😂)
My Mother and I
Grandbaby Cason
Co-worker Kori
My Husband with Maddy & Prim
Mark & Erin and Dom

11 thoughts on “The Psychology of (my) Retirement

  1. When a small boy I would visit my grandad every Sunday morning. One day he was in the small greenhouse behind his shed, I stood by the door and asked him, “What’s it like being retired Grandad?” .
    He turned to me and said, “I don’t know how I used to find the time to go to work son.”
    I too am now retired and was right. I don’t know I found the time to go to work either.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. What makes you think that just because you are retired you can’t help? It it’s money remember that money isn’t all everyone needs. Being retired has given me the time to actually help more…just differently.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It’s not that I don’t plan to or won’t help others. It’s more that for the past five decades I have not spent a lot of time taking care of myself and seldom put myself first. I saw retirement as a time to do that and didn’t realize how guilty I would feel about it or how others would resent it. Of course, for work I rather expected it. I have been a valuable asset to the business for fifteen years. I know things will shake themselves out but transition is always difficult and I my boss is not excited about dealing with it.

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  4. This is your time. Life changes and change is scary. I hated it but I am so glad I am in this time. All those things you are doing make you feel needed and important…at least that is what I felt. It took me time to get over feeling lost but it comes and it is good. Just keep processing the feelings.

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  5. You can still help others. There are so many opportunities to volunteer – hospice, retirement facilities, library, art galleries, church, so many non-profits helping foster families or children in danger of abuse – the list goes on and on. Retired now for over 7 years I have found myself not only keeping busy, but enjoying the sense of being productive in helping make others lives better – not just keeping a company successful. And it doesn’t hurt to take some time to take care of yourself also. I find having some time to just sit and sip that second cup of coffee in the morning instead of hurrying off to work or taking an afternoon to just sit and read actually refreshes my spirit and increases my own joy so that I can be a help to others.

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  6. You are so right, Barbara. I don’t intend to quit doing for others but I am definitely ready to slow down in the morning and take a little me time. I am so glad to hear you are enjoying your retirement. It is all about finding the right balance and it sounds like you have found yours.

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