November 11th – Dane Sanders

Today I am highlighting another inspirational teacher that I have discovered.  Dane Sanders is a motivational speaker, business trainer, and professional photographer.   I was just recently introduced to his work by my friend Dwight Hyde at https://www.fadedjeansliving.com

Dane Sanders is one of the co-creators of ‘Men and Women of Discomfort’.   This is a group of men and women who take on 90 day challenges to push themselves physically, mentally, and beyond.   More information on this group can be found on Instagram or at their website https://www.mwod.io/

What inspired me about Dane Sanders was a blog that he shared discussing character roles.    In writing narratives there are three typical character roles – Villain, Victim, and Hero. 

In real life,  we all tend to play these roles.  We switch roles on a continual basis – playing the villain, the victim, and the hero on any given day (or at time of day).    These roles are not  specifically positive or negative – much depends on the circumstances and our intention.  Often, we are not even aware of the role we are playing.

The role of a victim is not one that we typically choose – we just are a victim of circumstances or others.   We have been victimized.   Generally,  our goal will be to work through our victim role to a hero role.  Occasionally, we deliberately or unconsciously choose to remain in the victim role because there is a lack of personal responsibility in playing the helpless victim.   We just are.   We do not realize that this choice  is costing us  our  free will –  the power to create and live our own life on our own terms.

Victims attract heroes.  Those who choose to remain victims attract ‘false heroes’  or villains who are called rescuers.    These rescuers, do not help victims – they are enablers or victimizers, who use their false hero role to empower themselves at the expense of the victim.  

Victims with  a goal  to work their way to being a hero, attract true heroes.   True heroes are guides.   Guides lead by example and provide the information that victims require to become true heroes, so that they may in turn guide others.

Dane Sanders  encourages  us to notice the role(s) we are playing, choose the role we want to play in our lives, and move towards that goal. 

This lesson by Dane Sanders gave me a new perspective in how I see myself and how I live my life.    At times I am  the victim – not choosing to remain the victim for long.  Everyone enjoys the occasional (self) pity party, and I am no exception – but I really do NOT enjoy feeling helpless.    At times, I am  the true hero (the guide).   I have, especially with my family, tried to lead by example and to share that which I felt would be beneficial to them.    But, most often (and again especially with my family),  I have played the villain (the typical ‘rescuer’ villain!).   It makes me feel needed – even if I do not feel wanted or loved.   It is a role I choose to mask my lack of self confidence and self worth.   And worst of all –  It victimizes others, by undermining their own confidence and self worth.  😢

This is a hard lesson to learn – but it is an incredibly powerful lesson in my mind.  It is a lesson that I believe can help me to be a genuinely better person.   For that, I am truly grateful to Dane Sanders for sharing his wisdom.

Take care and have an authentically great day! 💞🌞