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This month our youngest grandson is celebrating his first birthday. Being the frugal, practical Grandma that I am, I volunteered to buy him his first winter boots for this auspicious occasion. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Cason needed a birthday present, he has a home filled with toys and cute outfits and lots of other grandparents to buy him more of the fun stuff, so boots were the perfect gift for Grandma and Grandpa D to provide.

In case you haven’t bought any baby boots lately, they are not the easiest thing to come by. Size 4 baby boots are particularly hard to come by. After two dedicated shopping trips I broke down and bought him a pair in size five. (I am not that dedicated when it comes to shopping) They are the tiniest, lightest boots I have ever seen. Mom is just going to have to work those wiggly little feet into an extra pair of socks until they grow a bit. It’s not like winter will be over anytime soon. He’s got a good seven months before he will be venturing out in sneakers

It remains to be seen how practical the size five boots turn out to be, but Grandma definitely fell off the frugal end of the spectrum. I am not one to splurge on footwear. I myself have a pair of sneakers, white heels, black heels, winter boots, summer boots and a pair of sandals. Combined they cost me as much as Cason’s boots. 🙄

Practical or pricey as they may be, I can’t wait until the end of the month when we head off to celebrate Cason’s birthday. Nine grandchildren in, there is one thing I am certain of. Whether Cason is as excited as I am about the his new boots, he is for sure going to love the box they came in.

Living in Canada, I have never felt that being a girl or woman was a handicap. There seemed to be positives and negatives regardless of gender and there were extenuating circumstances regardless.

Through personal experiences over the years and with communication barriers removed by advanced technology , I have come to see my naivety on this subject. I have come to see the brutality towards girls and women around the world. I have also come to recognize the more subtle, systematic abuse of our gender. The challenges that girls face are real and they must be addressed. Many of them are unconcionable in this day and age and all of them are harmful to females and to society as a whole.

I am no expert on this subject, but I do believe that we all need to do our part to promote respect, safety and support for all girls and women around the world. For my part, I recommend all who have not already done so, to start by reading “The Moment of Lift” by Melinda Gates. She is an expert on this subject and her book is eloquent and moving.

World Day of Girls is a day worth noting. The many critical issues facing girls around the world are worth recognizing, discussing and working to remediate. The girls today are to become the women of tomorrow. We need to do our part to ensure that they will be educated, healthy and strong.

Today is World Mental Health Day. I have long felt that quality of life is as important, or more so, than length of life. As such, I feel mental health is as important as physical well-being.

I cannot imagine that there is anyone who does not, or has not, at some point suffered from some form of mental illness. I do not know why there has ever been stygma associated with mental illness or why our society has such a problem understanding the need for mental health care.

My biggest struggle with mental well being has always been anxiety issues. I realize my issues are not as traumatic as many others, such as schizophrenia or anorexia or any number of serious conditions that others deal with on a daily basis. The problem is, to compare it to physical conditions, a broken toe may not be close to battling cancer, but it is still a problem. When you suffer from an anxiety attack when you are driving to work, it is a big problem. When you have to deal with anxiety, regardless of what routine or extraordinary task you are doing, it is a real problem – it makes everything so much harder than it should be.

Over the years I have tackled my anxiety issues in a number of ways and I have come a long way. I know everyone is different and what works for one does not necessarily help another, but here are some things that have worked for me:

1) Seeing a professional counselor. I have seen three different counselors during three different life crises. The first one was a great help. One trick he taught me was to focus on something mentally challenging when my stress level was out of control. That helped a lot. The other two counselors were worth the time to see but mostly because they gave me a safe place to talk through stuff I was going through.

3) Writing daily positive affirmations. The written word is so powerful for me. I pick new affirmations to start every new year but I always include my favourite by Louise Haye. “I am at peace with my own feelings. I am safe where I am. I create my own security. I love and approve of myself. “

2) Self help books. I generally find there is some helpful bit in every self help book but my favourites have been – every book be Wayne Dyer, every book by Louise Haye, Alter Ego by Todd Herman (specifically for vanishing my inner demons – great chapter) and From Panic to Power by Lucinda Bassett (this one helped me get over my anxiety attacks behind the wheel – huge help)

4) Positive pillow talk. When I struggle, I give myself pep talks as I am falling asleep. I quit smoking years ago, using this method. I also find it helps me get to sleep quickly, so that helps me feel better in the morning.

5) Confronting my fears. My first memory has always been one of absolute terror. As a small tot, my Mother would take my sister and I for a walk which included crossing a swinging bridge that terrified me. That my older sister loved to jump and run on it to make it swing harder did not help. A couple of years ago, my husband took me ‘home’ to cross my bridge from hell. Fortunately, the bridge had been rebuilt and was much more solid than it had been and my sister was hundreds of miles away. I crossed the bridge a couple of times – absolutely fearless! I still have the memory, and the sister, but that day did wonders for my confidence going forward😉

If you or any of your loved ones struggle with mental health issues, keep working on it, keep helping others who struggle. You will never do anything more important in your life.

Happy World Mental Health Day.

295 more days until I retire. Most of the time I am good with that. My work has been interesting, gratifying,and challenging but I am ready for a change and a rest. Especially on weeks like this, I am so ready!

I grew up in a small family business. I know how to work and I know how to serve. I was raised to respect and appreciate our customers. I was not told to respect and appreciate our customers, I was taught by example. My parents were honorable, intelligent people who believed in providing value for the products and services they sold. They treated their customers with respect and appreciation because they had genuine respect and appreciation for their customers .

I have been fortunate, working in the construction industry, that those I worked for have shared my work ethic and integrity. For the most part, I have been very fortunate to have the opportunity to work with co-workers, suppliers and support industries who took pride in value, quality and service. 

Unfortunately, despite everyone’s best intentions, there are times when things go wrong. In this day and age, one small input error on a computer screen can cause major problems. That I can work with. What I cannot work with, are those times when things go terribly wrong and no one is concerned with making them right. What I cannot handle are those times when people would prefer to pretend there is no problem or that the priority is finding someone to blame for the problem, rather than just acknowledging there is a problem and focusing on making things right.

That was what I dealt with this week – and what I seem to be dealing with more and more frequently. I have gotten to point where I am exhausted. I am exhausted from making excuses for the inexcusable. I am exhausted from sending urgent messages to a supplier regarding yet another bungled order, only to be left hanging without so much as a simple response that they have seen my message and are working on correcting the current issue.  I am exhausted from calling and leaving voice messages, when I know that there will be no call back. I am exhausted from having to call a client, who was depending on me to provide answers, and telling them that I have no answers to give.

Communication has never been easier.   With desktop computers,  laptops, tablets and smart phones, a response is always a click or a call away.   And yet too often, the response is no response at all – especially when there is a critical issue to deal with.   That to me is beyond sad, and says so much about our current, big business culture.

Many feel that these huge, technically driven corporations are a sign of progress. Personally, I do not see how showing a lack of respect and appreciation for others is a sign of progress for any part of our society. To me, it is not a sign of good business.

One of the most pervasive messages of these times is the importance of living in the moment, cherishing today as the day that we can truly live. We know that obsessing over the past or worrying about the future is to be avoided at all costs as it is a waste of the precious time we have and a proven detriment to out mental health.

The only ones who seem to be totally tone deaf to this message are those who control the retail industry.    It is September.   In stores across the country there are shelves displaying the remnants of back to school sales, summer decor and  beach toys.   Meanwhile, seasonal display areas are filling up with Halloween Costumes, Thanksgiving decorations, Christmas wrappings and sparkling, inflatable lawn ornaments.   Is rushing the seasons necessary?  Is it good for us, our families,  our society?  Is it responsible marketing?

Years ago, we had time to live. We had spring days to splash in puddles or indulge in long walks to enjoy the annual rebirth of nature. We had long summer days to savour the sunshine and flowers and fresh vegetables. We had autumn days to jump in dried leaves with our tots and evenings to curl up with a good book. We had winters for watching pure white snow blanket the neighbourhood, snow men to build, toboggans to ride and hot chocolate and fresh homemade cookies to savour. Holidays and special events were few and far between – and they were special.

Now, we cannot get through one holiday without gearing up for the next big event, thanks to the retail industry. Adults and children alike are so burnt out by the time the actual holiday arrives, it is destined to be a stressful letdown.

For many, holidays are stressful at the best of times. Many are dealing with celebrating the 1st after the loss of a loved one, or the reminder of the loss of a loved one. For many parents and grandparents, holidays are a financial strain they can scarcely afford. For others, who grow up outside the Christian faith, Christian based holidays are a time to feel excluded, removed from their neighbours and co-workers. For the many children who struggle through our overcrowded school system, the sight of back to school sales in mid-July is cruel and traumatic.

Why do we as a society allow this perverse marketing? Why do our various levels of government, who have no problem mandating so much of our lives, not step up and place some restrictions on irresponsible retailers? Why does anyone need Christmas displays in September?

One of the recent trends on the internet seems to be articles listing things that anyone over 40 should never do, say, wear, eat or drink. In response, I would like to present my own list – of things that people under 40 should never do.

1) Never think 40 is OLD. It truly isn’t. 40 is just the beginning. You may have laid some groundwork before you were 40, but this is when you start living. And, trust me, you are going to be 40 way sooner than you think. 😂

2). Never think you should decide what people over 40 should wear. We are just people. We come in all sizes and shapes and tend to look our best in what makes us feel our best. Wear what makes you feel good. The rest of us can take care of ourselves 👙

3) Never think you are superior to us because technology comes naturally to you. People who are now over 40 pioneered the technical revolution. We, your parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles provided you with electronics from the time you were born. You grew up with them. I was working, as a bookkeeper when the first calculators came on the market. Wrap your head around that one. Not only have we had to evolve with our careers, we have basically had to evolve in a language that is foreign to us. 🖥️

4) Never tell people over 40 what they should eat. Health trends, diets and the science of nutrition evolves. Twenty years from now, hummus will cause cancer and people will realize that gelatin is a health food even if it makes your salad jiggle. Speaking of diets, there is no such thing as a one ingredient cookie. Freeze it, slice it, it is still a banana.🍌

5) Never believe that that the latest thing is always progress. Back in the day, we thought single use plastic bags and plastic straws were progress. 🥺

6) Never believe that you are more ethical than the generations before you. We did things that make you cringe? You were not there and have never been as culturally isolated as we were. We were not cruel, thoughtless, selfish or cold. We worked hard all week and gave generously to those in need around the globe. People devoted their entire lives to taking care of the sick, the elderly, the young, and the needy. People worked to support themselves and their families and then volunteered their free time and their talents to build their communities and keep them safe. Stop worrying about how terrible we were and start thinking about how much better you can be. 🤔

7) Never mock our fads and fashions, expressions and trends. We thought that they were as ‘cool‘ as you think yours are ‘lit’ . At least our fashion faux pas and embarrassing moments are stuffed away in yearbooks and wedding albums. Yours are going to live on forever, around the globe, compliments of social media.🙄

8) Never tell us what we should drink. Why do you care? I happen to enjoy tonic with my gin. Deal with it.🥃

9) Never believe that, just because your way is easier, it must be better. There is something to be said for “work smarter, not harder”. But, the operable word is still ‘work’. 👷

10) Never waste time resenting that we had things so much easier. We had things differently. We struggled, we faced challenges, we worked long hard hours under some difficult and dangerous conditions. Many of the industries that existed in our youth are virtually gone but there are others here and coming that did not exist in our day. We spent our money on basics – home and transportation, food and clothing. We did not have electronics, travel was a luxury, food was home cooked. Many of us took care of our elderly parents, physically and financially, and we still help our sons and daughters when they struggle. Few of us lived as well or as easily as you think we did. We did the best we could with what we had. 👍