It is Day 23 of my June ‘Accentuate the Positive’ challenge and I have decided to pay tribute to memories. This one is a bit of a trip down the rabbit hole for me, so hopefully it will be a positive experience for anyone who chooses to join me today. 🙃
I have never been one to dwell on the past. At first, it was not a conscious decision. I was focussed on dealing with the present and looking forward to the future. 🌞 After a brutally painful period in my life, I did make a very conscious decision to shut the door on my memory banks and slap a big old lock on them. If a moment from the past happened to sneak through, it was nothing more than a snapshot in someone else’s photo album. I would not relate to it personally.
I was perfectly happy to live in this delusional little headspace, where my past did not exist. I had no desire to relive my past through painful memories, and bizarrely, the best memories from my past were the ones that were most painful for me to face.
Ultimately, this decision to block my past became problematic. I had a tendency to react to triggers that seemingly came out of nowhere – like the time a business consultant snapped his fingers in my face. He was lucky that he got out of my office while he still had fingers! There were other times, many times, when I just drew a blank when someone mentioned the past, even the recent past – like the day Dan and I ran into his boss. They started talking about the time they had been at one of our local hospitals. I could not remember when or why Dan would have been at the hospital. It was only when Dan’s boss turned to me and asked how I was doing now, that I realized that Dan had been at the hospital to be with me. I had been in the hospital with pneumonia/empyema for a solid month a couple of years earlier and I had totally forgotten!
In the security of my relationship with Dan, and the relative well-being of my life in general, I decided it was time to crack the locks on my memory banks and have a peek around. At first, there was a whole lot of ugly memories that burst out. I wasn’t surprised, and I wasn’t that bothered by this. I was expecting them. I did not find a lot of warm and fuzzy memories. I was not expecting to and quite frankly, I was terrified of finding any.
Lately, I have been sorting through our basement and closets. I found a couple of boxes of older photos. I started to go through them and discovered that I have finally reached a point in my life where I am ready to look for the positive anywhere and everywhere – even in my past.
So, without further ado, or rambling on as the case may be, I invite you to browse through a few positively good memories with me. 💞
Twenty-three days down and seven to go.
Now that I am caught up with my life, I had better get busy with my here and now. That lawn isn’t going to water itself.
Have fun today and I hope to see you tomorrow! 💝