Letting Go

Following a few weeks of what seemed to be an on again, off again, up and down doggy cold, our little Kat took a decidedly bad turn for the worse.    I took her to our vet clinic for x-rays and examination to get to the bottom of her health issues.  Fortunately, the veterinarian I was able to get her in to see was the very competent and compassionate, Dr. Broberg.   Unfortunately, the diagnosis was devastating.  Our little Kat was suffering from catastrophic congenital heart failure and her lungs were filled with fluid. 

Dr. Broberg put her on oxygen and tried diuretics to clear her lungs, to give us a few more weeks or possibly months, with our sweet little girl.  Unfortunately, things did not go as hoped for and the next step was a twenty-four hour hospital.  We were not willing to put her through the anxiety and suffering that this would cause our Kat,  for what would inevitably be our short term gain. We chose to let her go now – sooner than later.

Last night, Dan and I were with Kat, as she was put to sleep.    She went quickly and peacefully.  We were and remain devastated.   But we are also grateful that the end came as gently as possible for all of us, grateful that we had the means to provide the care our little girl deserved to the very end, and ever so grateful for the countless memories that we have to cherish.

Nine years of tail wagging, squirrel chasing, snack sneaking, snuggles and cuddles fun wrapped up in one little King Charles Cavalier named Kat:

Together Again – Kat and CaseyRIP💞

February 13th – My Path is Peace

When I retired, I started to walk – a lot. I started walking in an effort to improve my health, but I found other benefits. One of the best of these benefits was that I found it particularly calming. As I walked my favourite path in Patricia Park, I thought of it as my path to peace. After months and miles of walking, I was at a place where I felt that wherever I was, peace was my path.

https://seclusion101withannemarie.com/2020/08/08/my-path-is-peace/

  • Update 2022
  • I have found the path of peace quite easy and pleasant and have managed to generally stay my course.
  • I have drifted over to and even straddled the paths of love, happiness, hope and faith. That was nice.
  • I have occasionally zigged left, when I should have zagged right and have found myself on the paths of fear, resentment, anger, or the like. They were unpleasant, so I returned to my path of peace.
  • I have been drawn to a sparkly path, alit with party lights, and decorated with balloons and streamers. I soon realized that this festive path was a meandering pity party filled with blame games and that it would take me nowhere. I returned to the path of peace.
  • I have stumbled on the horrific paths of hate and righteousness. I did not last long on those paths. They were too exhausting!
  • I have learned that life is filled with paths, some hard, some easy, some better, some worse. You have to pick your paths carefully and you have stay alert – because as simple as it is to get sidetracked, getting back on track is seldom as easy as it seemed it would be.
My path of peace 🕊️
That’s an ugly one 😳
That one could lead to something sketchy 🥴
Dead end ☃️
Confidentially walking the straight and narrow 🙂

That’s it for today. Take care and have a great day!

Day 23 – Memories

It is Day 23 of my June ‘Accentuate the Positive’ challenge and I have decided to pay tribute to memories. This one is a bit of a trip down the rabbit hole for me, so hopefully it will be a positive experience for anyone who chooses to join me today.  🙃

I have never been one to dwell on the past.  At first,  it was not a conscious decision.  I was focussed on dealing with the present and looking forward to the future. 🌞   After a brutally painful period in my life, I did make a very conscious decision to shut the door on my memory banks and slap a big old lock on them.   If a moment from the past happened to sneak through, it was nothing more than a snapshot in someone else’s photo  album.  I would not relate to it personally.

I was perfectly happy to live in this delusional little headspace, where my past did not exist.   I had no desire to relive my past through  painful memories, and bizarrely,  the best  memories from my past were the ones that were most painful for me to face.

Ultimately, this decision to block my past became problematic.   I had a tendency to react to triggers that  seemingly came out of nowhere – like the time a business consultant snapped his fingers in my face.   He was lucky that he got out of my office while he still had fingers!   There were other times, many times,  when I just drew a blank when someone mentioned the past, even the recent past –  like the day Dan and I ran into his boss.  They started talking about the time they had been at one of our local hospitals.   I could not remember when or why Dan would have been at the hospital.  It was only when Dan’s boss turned to me and asked how I was doing now, that I realized that Dan had been at the hospital to be with me.   I had been in the hospital with pneumonia/empyema for a solid month  a couple of years earlier and  I had totally forgotten! 

In the security of my relationship with Dan, and the relative well-being of my life in general, I decided it was time to crack the locks on my memory banks and have a peek around.   At first, there was a whole lot of ugly memories that burst out.  I wasn’t surprised, and I wasn’t that bothered by this.   I was expecting them.    I did not find a lot of warm and fuzzy memories.   I was not expecting to and quite frankly, I was terrified of finding any. 

Lately, I have been sorting through our basement and closets.   I found a couple of boxes of older photos.  I started to go through them and discovered that I have finally reached a point in my life where I am ready to look for the positive anywhere and everywhere – even in my past.

So, without further ado, or rambling on as the case may be, I invite you to browse through a few positively good memories with me. 💞

Lunching out with Jen.
For years, we went shopping on Saturday morning. And we went for lunch. And we went walking at Wascana Park or took the kids tobogganing or swimming or to any number of places. We took trips to Gravelbourg and Saskatoon and one memorable trip to Winnipeg.  $$$😂
First there was one – Genie, back in the day when grandbabies were all sweet little  innocents – happy to chase ladybugs and steal Pipsi. 🤗
Back in the day with Casey and Susie.  Casey was a beautiful American Eskimo/Pomeranian.  She was with us for sixteen years before she passed away.   Suzie was a tiny  blind kitten that Jennifer gave Dan.  She lost her owner and all of her siblings in a house fire.  The owners family took her mother but could not provide a home for Suzie. We had her for about thirteen years before we lost her to cancer.
My first Christmas with Dan and his dad, Nick.
Danny, getting ready to head out on his own with his very first vehicle – bought and paid for by his truly. 👍
The first home where my ex and I lived in Regina.  It couldn’t have been uglier!
Until we added our ugly sofa and mirror and fugly lamps!  (I spared you the wall of mirror tiles and the one covered with metallic butterfly wallpaper – and the glass and brass orange lamps!)
Family visit at our home up north.  Without a doubt the best years with my ex. 
Back in the day with my ex. (Mark Sr.) and our three little ones (Danny, Jennifer and Mark B.)
And way back, with my sister Lorraine and our niece Brigette. 💞

Twenty-three days down and seven to go.

Now that I am caught up with my life, I had better get busy with my here and now. That lawn isn’t going to water itself.

Have fun today and I hope to see you tomorrow! 💝