divorce – Seclusion 101 with AnneMarie

It is days away from my son’s wedding and I am getting ready for the drive and the big day. There is not that much I had to do – hotel reservations, haircut, outfit to wear, gift, that sort of thing. Husband Dan will get the Jeep ready. Son Dan and Amanda have their arrangements all made so there is little to be done for them.

Now, my biggest challenge is getting myself ready. Son Dan is a good man and we are delighted that we are able to go to celebrate his marriage to Amanda. Amanda is an amazing partner for him. She is funny and intelligent and caring and bursting with the energy necessary to keep up with Dan and their three children plus run her own small business! Most of all she is always saying that she is grateful for Dan, as we know he is for her. That is so huge for both of them and their relationship. Many couples focus on the faults of their partners. It is heartwarming to see a couple who constantly focus on each other’s strengths.

So, we are happy for them and we look forward to seeing them and celebrating with them. But, all is not roses. There are a couple of challenges going into this weekend.

The first being that we will be spending a weekend with my ex and his wife. To be honest, I do not have an issue with my ex being there. He is the father of my son (and his siblings). We have been divorced longer than we were married. Quite frankly the last few years of our marriage were so bad that I never wanted either of us to hold any lingering animosity or the such once it ended. I do have issues with his wife. For the past twenty years she has been on some mission to rewrite our history, discredit me, victimize my ex, and basically (with the help of my ex’s family) brainwash my sons into believing her version of our past.

The second challenge is that our Prime Minister called a federal election yesterday. This should hardly be a cause for alarm at a wedding party for a loving couple and their beautiful blended family. Except, this party is being held at a Saskatchewan/Alberta border city. Chances are, this will get ugly. I do not care that I do not agree with the politics of most of the people who will be there. I seldom, if ever bother to argue politics with others. But, there is a time a place and I would easily get upset if anyone decided that this would be a good time or place to start a political rant.

So…. I have my work cut out for me this week! I am digging way deep to fill my heart and soul with enough peace and love and happiness to get through this weekend with a positive mindset. I want to add to the joy of this weekend for Dan, Amanda and their family. I want to have a good weekend away with my husband Dan. I want to enjoy this very special weekend! 💞

I just finished a nice meditation, which I enjoyed in my little space under our big tree. I am feeling good and feeling surrounded by an energy of peace and contentment. Now I just have to build on these feelings and I will be the ‘Mother of the Groom‘ that I truly wish to be. 👍

Please wish me luck, and keep me in your thoughts and prayers. All will be truly appreciated! I don’t know how many can relate. This is one of those situations that may sound rediculous but that can be totally challenging to find oneself in. 🙄

**I have little Dom here this week to help me attain the right mindset.** **He definitely has the ‘peace’ vibe going right now.** 🥱

Take care, have a great day and see you tomorrow! 💞

It is Day 23 of my June ‘Accentuate the Positive’ challenge and I have decided to pay tribute to memories. This one is a bit of a trip down the rabbit hole for me, so hopefully it will be a positive experience for anyone who chooses to join me today. 🙃

I have never been one to dwell on the past. At first, it was not a conscious decision. I was focussed on dealing with the present and looking forward to the future. 🌞 After a brutally painful period in my life, I did make a very conscious decision to shut the door on my memory banks and slap a big old lock on them. If a moment from the past happened to sneak through, it was nothing more than a snapshot in someone else’s photo album. I would not relate to it personally.

I was perfectly happy to live in this delusional little headspace, where my past did not exist. I had no desire to relive my past through painful memories, and bizarrely, the best memories from my past were the ones that were most painful for me to face.

Ultimately, this decision to block my past became problematic. I had a tendency to react to triggers that seemingly came out of nowhere – like the time a business consultant snapped his fingers in my face. He was lucky that he got out of my office while he still had fingers! There were other times, many times, when I just drew a blank when someone mentioned the past, even the recent past – like the day Dan and I ran into his boss. They started talking about the time they had been at one of our local hospitals. I could not remember when or why Dan would have been at the hospital. It was only when Dan’s boss turned to me and asked how I was doing now, that I realized that Dan had been at the hospital to be with me. I had been in the hospital with pneumonia/empyema for a solid month a couple of years earlier and I had totally forgotten!

In the security of my relationship with Dan, and the relative well-being of my life in general, I decided it was time to crack the locks on my memory banks and have a peek around. At first, there was a whole lot of ugly memories that burst out. I wasn’t surprised, and I wasn’t that bothered by this. I was expecting them. I did not find a lot of warm and fuzzy memories. I was not expecting to and quite frankly, I was terrified of finding any.

Lately, I have been sorting through our basement and closets. I found a couple of boxes of older photos. I started to go through them and discovered that I have finally reached a point in my life where I am ready to look for the positive anywhere and everywhere – even in my past.

So, without further ado, or rambling on as the case may be, I invite you to browse through a few positively good memories with me. 💞