Seclusion

by annemariedemyen, posted in dealingwithstress

When I created my blog, I was focussed on my impending retirement. WordPress had other plans for my blog. “Instead of Retirement 101…”, My blog website became “Seclusion101….”. As strange as that seemed to me, it was actually a perfect fit for me. According to Wikipedia “Seclusion is the act of isolating from society”.

I admire people who can walk into any situation and make it better. Some people enter a room and radiate happiness. Others can be caught in the midst of drama, conflict or fear and radiate peace and calm. I am not one of those people.

I am a sponge for the emotions of those around me. By the standard of current terminology, I am an empath. I get close to anyone who is experiencing extreme emotion and I absorb it by default. I do not even have to be physically close to people I have close ties to – like my husband, sons and daughter. I feel off if there is something seriously wrong with them or the situation they are in.

There are occasions, when this ’empath’ way of being is helpful. I can generally feel when people need comfort or support. I can also generally feel when people are in a state where it is best to just back away and give them space. For the most part, being in the midst of extreme emotion just beats me up – regardless of the type of emotion.

I hate parades. I always have. When the planes fly over or the band strikes up and the crowd unites in excitement and anticipation, I am overwhelmed by the urge to burst into tears. Funerals crush me – even when the deceased was not someone I was personnely close to. The collective grief of family and friends suffocates me. Angry outbursts are the worst. Even if people screaming at each other are across the street, I feel terrified. I know these situation are over reactions, but that is how I am.

I would love to live on an acreage surrounded by nature. In the city, I make do. Regardless of where I have lived, I have always had my special place where I could ‘isolate from society’. Back in the days when I was alone with my teenagers, my ‘place’ was a corner of the kitchen cupboards. I could open a window, sit on the cupboard with my feet in the sink and enjoy a cup of tea and a cigarette. Nobody came near me when I was in my corner – until Dan came into my life. He was allowed in my corner. (He wasn’t allowed to put his feet in my sink.)

Now it is relatively easy to seclude myself. I have indoor and outdoor places that are perfect for isolating. Life has never been better – in retirement and seclusion.

Have a pleasant and peaceful day🌞

14 thoughts on “Seclusion”

  7. I also need some solitude from time to time. We’ve started living together recently and I find it very difficult to have that physical and mental space for me alone. I always feel ‘connected’ and sometimes that is not as good as it sounds.

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  11. I love solitude. I too live in the city but have a couple of places I carve out occasionally, just to be in. To write, contemplate, read, be. I watched some birds this morning. Last night a woodchuck surprised me.

    But there are constant interruptions. Sometimes welcome, often not so much. Of course, I’m not near retirement so I will accept those as part of life at the moment.

    I like your picture! Beautiful little spot you have there.

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  12. Thank you! I have always found nature soothing but around here, more often than not, it is corrupted by sirens, trains, planes and the like. I don’t think we would ever see a woodchuck around here but we occasionally get a moose wandering into the city.

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  13. The neighbours next door are MIA (in China, never came back) so the garden is completely overgrown. I think the woodchuck birthed under their deck…and sometimes comes over to our place (we have weeds, too…).

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  14. Baby woodchucks – that is so cool! I like my yard to look neat but I love overgrown yards. I moved into a place like that when my kids were little. The yard was huge and had returned to the wild. We were finding surprises for years.

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