Sleep Deprivation

by annemariedemyen, posted in life
Kat Napping

Everyone sleeps. For some people (or dogs), sleep is like food. A little here, a little there, and they are functional. I am not one of those people. I need my sleep. A solid eight hours a night – at least.

For the most part, I have always slept well. Even when my children were infants, I slept well. I would go to bed as early as possible, wake up for night feedings, and be able to fall back asleep no problem. Fortunately, my children were good sleepers as well. 👶

When I was building a new home with my first husband, I worked a year of nights in a donut shop to pay off the downpayment. In the day, I was a full-time homemaker with three children in elementary school. Evenings and weekends, we put a lot of sweat equity into the house. I found I could function on very little sleep if I had to. I also found that lack of sleep made me giddy – really giddy! By the time the year was up, I was able to go to part-time administrative day work and resume my regular sleep routine. 😊

When I became a single mother of three teenagers, I once again had to cut back on my sleep. Monday through Friday, I was up at 6 a.m. and getting ready to drive teenagers to school before getting to work. My day was done at 2 or 3 a.m. the next morning. Saturday and Sunday, I could usually squeak in six hours of sleep a night. It was not nearly enough. After three and a half years, I was giddy to the point of hysterics most days. I could find hilarity in most situations, and generally did. Fortunately, we didn’t have a lot of family funerals or equally somber affairs in those years. I am pretty sure that would not have gone well. 🙄

Anyway, for the past twenty years, I have been able to get in some pretty solid sleep. Unfortunately, nothing lasts forever. This past fall I had a case of shingles – from the top of my head, through my left eye and across my face. I do not know why, but somehow this has affected my ability to sleep. I will go to bed a 10 pm and at 3 am I am staring at the ceiling thinking about anything that is guaranteed to keep me awake. I finally get a couple of hours of sleep, but it is not nearly enough. I am not giddy when I wake up. I am just exhausted. Sliding off my chair at work by 10 a.m. exhausted. 😴

Laying awake in the middle of the night sucks. Being exhausted all day just sucks. Anybody have any fail proof ways to get to sleep? I am ready to try (almost) anything. 😟

This is awkward😂

Investing in the Future

by annemariedemyen, posted in career, family

Last night Dan was on night shift. I was here, ready to relax with my dog, a bag of pistachios, a glass of wine and a bit of classic Tom Cruise. Then, I heard the unmistakable sound of teen giggles and realized that our granddaughter, Genie, and her friends were bounding down the walk and about to invade. So much for the wine. I really did not mind. I love to see any of the grandkids and their friends. Soon they were inside, shedding jackets and winter boots.

We all got comfortable and they started telling me about their week.   They had semester final exams. Some fared better than others, but they were all ready to accept the grades they received.  They talked about their friends.  A little drama, but nothing out of the ordinary.  Then they talked about work.  They all work at Superstore.  They all work front end, with Genie having the additional responsibility of being a supervisor.

It is really funny hearing Genie and her friends talk about work. They do not complain about work. They do not complain about their bosses, their co-workers or the work they have to do . They do not complain about the personal sacrifices they make for their work – the early morning shifts, the late evening shifts or the time with friends and family that they miss. They do not complain about their wages.

For the most part, Genie and her friends talk about their customers. Mostly they talk about the customers who made their shifts better. They talk about customers who were super happy or particularly friendly. They talk about any compliments they received and any genuine appreciation they experienced. They talk about the customers they saw who were just extra nice and considerate to those around them. These customers make their shifts memorable.

Of course there are the customers who make their shifts more difficult and those get mentioned as well. They are the customers who are miserable before they ever approach the cashier or the service counter or the ones who are upset by a store issue and decide to take it out on someone who is trying to help them. There are the customers who will disrespect Genie and her friends simply because of their youth or make inappropriate remarks and suggestions because of their gender. Others will be disrespectful and rude simply because they feel superior to cashiers, price checkers and fellow shoppers.

These young people take their jobs really seriously. They take positive and negative interactions really seriously. They truly want to help people to have a positive experience at Superstore. They are excited about taking one of their first major steps to being responsible adults and they want to get it right.

Genie and her friends are not that unique as young employees go. This week, it would be really nice if we could all try a bit harder to notice the young employees we encounter. An extra smile and a kind word will really make their day. It will also encourage them to hold onto that work ethic and attitude – through this job and those that will follow. In the long run, it will be an investment in the future – ours and definitely theirs.

Saturday Shopping

by annemariedemyen, posted in family
Saturday Lunch

Tomorrow is Saturday, which means Saturday morning shopping. Shopping is right at the top of things I do not like to do. When I have to go it alone, shopping is even worse. Dan is working nights this weekend, so alone it is.

The only good thing about Saturday morning shopping is going out for Saturday lunch. Since going out for lunch isn’t the same when Dan is working, I just go shopping. This obviously makes the shopping worse.

Finally, Dan and I have both been sick for a week or so. Last Saturday, Dan insisted on coming shopping, but once we got there he decided he didn’t feel well enough to actually shop, so I ran into Superstore to pick up a few groceries. The store was a zoo. Our Walmart, which is the only other ‘supermarket’ on this corner of the city has been closed for weeks due to cleanup from a small fire. Everyone has been shopping at Superstore.

I zipped through the aisles on hyperspeed, bypassing anything we didn’t need, I could not find, or was where I would have to play bumpercarts with those obnoxious customers who obviously knew what they needed and where it was. Not wanting to keep Dan waiting any longer than I had to, I zipped through the express cashier. I ran out to the Jeep with my haul – two sweaters, a scarf and a bag of Doritos. Dan decided he felt well enough to take me for lunch. (Maybe he just wasn’t hungry for Doritos)

This week we obviously need groceries. I will be on my own but I’m going to have to get it done. At least Walmart reopened a few days ago so us shoppers can spread out!

Value

by annemariedemyen, posted in life

In my mind, the secret to success in any venture is to add more value to the situation than you take out of it. Period!  This is true of pretty much anything that I can think of – relationships, employment, business, education, property, sports, anything. That seems so basic!

So why does it seem like there are so many people who believe the exact opposite?   People who seem to think that if they are not taking out more than they are putting in, they are wasting their time and they are being shortchanged? They go through life putting in minimal effort while sucking the life out of every opportunity that comes their way. Then they are shocked that every opportunity in life turns to trash for them.

These people go into every relationship for what they can get out of it, and complain when it falls apart. They do as little as possible at their job and then complain when the company fails to thrive and they do not get the raise or bonus they were counting on. They get a new vehicle, drive it into the ground, fail to maintain it and then complain because it is worthless junk. Their failures in life mount and they become self pitying victims of circumstance.

Seriously people? What do you expect will happen?

Are there really so many of these people out there or am I just a magnet for their type?

International Hug Day part 2

by annemariedemyen, posted in family, life

Yesterday, I may have been a little dubious about the power of hugs but as usual, our granddaughter, Genie had to pop in to convince me to rethink matters.

Gifts for Grandpa🐞

I love teenagers. When my kids were teenagers, they were the best and they had the best friends. We were ‘the house‘. Having left my husband, to raise and support three teenagers alone, it was not the biggest or the fanciest house. It was a safe house, a secure house, a peaceful house, and a happy house. That is all my kids and their friends wanted. A place to watch a movie or play a board game or eat a week’s supply of homemade stew at one sitting. There were not a lot of rules, other than the obvious ones like no drugs or alcohol but the first rule was always RESPECT yourself, RESPECT each other and RESPECT Mrs. N. (This was before I remarried and became Grandma D.) They all had their moments and no doubt a few challenging days but they were adorable. Nowdays, my kids and their friends are all in or close to their forties. They were good, responsible teenagers and they have all become responsible adults with children of their own, who are coming into their own as teenagers.

This brings me back to Genie and her friends. Genie is amazing. She is smart and beautiful and kind and (generally) responsible. Her friends seem to be likewise. They are all really good kids – until the DRAMA kicks in. Then they are still good kids but more dramatically so. When did teenagers become so insecure and stubborn and dramatic?

Yesterday, Dan and I were watching the news, while supper cooked, and Genie came crashing in with her friend Lucas. Earlier she had texted to tell me she had gotten a 95% on her final English exam for the semester. She was beyond excited. Yay, Genie! She comes bouncing in dragging Lucas behind her. Lucas did not fare as well and unfortunately came up short on his math exam. Genie had taken Lucas to the Cornwall Centre to meet up with friends in an effort to cheer him up. It obviously did not work very well so Grandma and Grandpa D’s it was. We visited for half an hour, chatted with Genie, commiserated with Lucas and it was time for them to head out. Grandpa gave Genie her usual bear hug, as did I, then I turned to Lucas and offered him a hug as well. (I knew from previous visits that he was a hugger). He jumped at the offer and smiled for the first time during their visit. He looked better for the hug and Dan and I both assured him that in the overall scheme of things, he would be fine.

I may not be totally convinced but I do think my hug for Lucas yesterday helped him turn a corner on his day. I certainly hope both Genie and Lucas did well on their exams today. Fingers crossed.🤞

International Day of Hugs

by annemariedemyen, posted in family, Uncategorized

Today is the International day of hugs.  I have to admit, I am not the most touchy feely person and I am rattled more than a little when someone spontaneously hugs me, especially if it is someone I have just met or someone I do not know very well. Occasionally, someone will ask if it would be ok to hug me. I generally agree although there have been times when I have just declined with a simple “No, I’m good”. Actually it was one time and he was a pre-plan funeral salesman. It was just wierd.

Despite my reluctance to hug willy-nilly, there have been a number of studies that have shown that hugging has potential benefits – physically and emotionally. Newborns, are known to thrive when the they are hugged, compared to those who are deprived of such physical interaction. The same theory must also be popular with seniors. I am pretty sure one of the prerequisites for working in a nursing home is the ability to pass around hugs like hard candies – which is another story of mine altogether.

I honestly do admire people who are capable of giving out spontaneous hugs to anyone in their immediate vicinity. I had a brother-in-law who gave the best bear hugs. He was an amazing man with a big heart and a total joie de vivre. Unfortunately, he died in a vehicle accident many years ago. The likes of Paul are few and far between. My kids are all good and natural huggers but they are all a little cautious about who they hug. My grandchildren hug anybody, their friends are huggers, it is somewhat of a ‘thing’ with the lot of them.

& kisses

Happy ‘International Day of Hugs’! It is only one day of the year, make the most of it.  Hug your mother, your friend, your sister, or your dog. Hug a stranger – but like not me. I’m good🤗

Winter Flu

by annemariedemyen, posted in life

The temperature is finally breaking into single digits today and I am home with the flu. I spent the weekend making home made chicken soup and taking care of my sick husband and he has decided to share. It is miserable having aches and pains, sore throat, runny nose, headache and heavy chest.

I get a bonus when I am home sick during the week. My dog takes it personally. She pouts, glares at me and goes to the back door on a regular basis. When I drag myself over to open the door, she looks at me as if to say ” Not me, you get out!”. I have no idea what she does when I go to work all day but I have a feeling she will not be impressed when I retire in a few months.

Religion

by annemariedemyen, posted in life

I grew up in a French Catholic home.  Religion was a big part of our heritage and a big part of our daily life.   I left the church many years ago because I could no longer be a part of it.  At first I put my religion in the background, as my husband at the time had become  negative and disrespectful towards it.  I felt he was doing our children more harm than I was doing them good, by having religion in our lives.  Then, when I left my husband, I left the church completely because the powers that be frowned on divorce and I refused to be frowned upon for getting myself and my children out of a terrible and dangerous situation. I did the right thing, and to this day, I know what I did was the right thing.

I am hardly the only person who had  legitimate reasons for leaving the church.   There has been every type of abuse by clergy in the church and many who used their authority to support it and conceal it.    There is no denying this and there is no excusing it.   Victims need to be compensated and supported and abusers and their supporters need to be held accountable. 

It would seem that organized religion, especially the Catholic Church is a floundering institution which, at some point, will permanently drift into obscurity.  A lot of people would like to see this happen.  I am not one of them. Although I do wonder if it is beyond saving, I do feel that it is an institution that has always been worth saving and it grieves me that it probably will not happen.

Growing up, the Catholic Church was an important institution. I didn’t believe that it was ever infallible but I felt it was important in my life.

– We were fortunate to have dedicated priests and nuns serving our parish. I remember many of them today. They were a valued and respected part of our community and our lives.

– We were fortunate that we were taught basic morals and values – that we were taught rules that have helped us live good lives, rules that we could pass on to our children so they can live good lives.

– We were fortunate to have a strong sense of community. We celebrated births and we mourned deaths, together. We made time to gather every Sunday and many times in between. Our priest opened the church hall up to all of the teenagers in our small town (and surrounding areas). During the week we shot pool, played shuffleboard or table tennis, and practiced singing for our glee club. On weekends, we had dances which featured local aspiring bands. Father L’Heureux was our sole chaperone. I can only remember one incident. One young guy thought he would sneak in a mickey of alcohol. Father L’Heureux stepped in to escort him out and took a punch to the face. There was no blood but the good priest was not happy about having his cigar crushed. 😂

– We were fortunate to have many women (nuns) who devoted their lives to taking care of the sick and the elderly in homes and hospitals. These facilities were anticeptic, brilliantly, CLEAN. The food was nourishing and healing. The nursing was strict but compassionate . I spent a month in a public hospital a few years ago. I could not believe how we now treat our sick and suffering. The place was disgustingly dirty. The food was just plain disgusting. It was in no way edible, much less nourishing. Other than my cardiac specialist, who was amazing in every way, care and compassion was pretty much non-existent.

– We were fortunate to have a place to gather with others to experience a living faith. It was a moving and uplifting experience.

There were, and are, many positive contributions that religion, and specifically the Catholic Church made to society. There were a lot of truly dedicated and devoted clergy in the church who spent their lives serving others. I am so sorry that their lives and good deeds have been lost in the noise of the corruption that has rocked the church over the past few years. I am sorry for all that we have lost, especially since we have nothing of comparable value with which to replace it with.

Positivity

by annemariedemyen, posted in career, family, life

If one is happy and grateful and stays focused on seeing the best in life, every day will be rainbows and unicorns. Except when it isn’t. 😟

Today it wasn’t. Today started with a windchill of 48 below zero. I got to work and my ex showed up. I haven’t seen him for years. I was fine with that, but today he showed up. Then his car froze, so he could not leave for hours. Then I had a tense discussion with my boss about a messy tender that I have been working on, followed by an argument with his son. Lunch was wieners and beans, leftover wieners and beans! The afternoon brought two more messy tenders and too much work for too little time. By the time I got home, I was struggling.

I fed my dog, worked on my jigsaw puzzle and made myself toast and jam for supper. Still struggling! I finally went to take a hot bath.

In the tub, I suddenly remembered a moment at work today. A client called to complain that he couldn’t find an email we had sent him. My boss told him to look in his junk. Ok, my bad but I thought that was too hilarious. 🤣

Then I remembered that my husband had brought home cinnamon buns for me and my office mate, Kori this morning. I remembered Kori had picked me up for work because my car is in the shop. I remembered my son had thanked me for being understanding and civil to my ex. I remembered the power had come back on when I got home so my house was warm and toasty. Best of all, I remembered tomorrow is FRIDAY!

My husband (with Cason)
Kori and I at Civic Night🥃🍺🍷🥂
My son (with his son)
My Dog, Kat

Bottom line, today was not all rainbows and unicorns, but it had more than a few good moments, good people and a pretty good dog. I have enough warm and fuzzy memories to get me through the night and off to a fresh start tomorrow. Today, I will take that as a win.👍

Life in the Frozen North

by annemariedemyen, posted in life

My poor little car is down for the count. I am not sure if this is even a thing, but it would seem my automatic steering fluid has frozen. Whatever the problem is, my power steering no longer has the power to steer.

We are lucky that we do not live in an area where we generally see hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes or the like but when our temperature drops down to the minus 40’s things tend to seize up – especially vehicles. Aluminum rims shrink and tires go flat, fluids freeze, batteries die, doors freeze shut. It is too much fun – especially when it is too bloody cold to deal with all this fun stuff.

Fortunately, I live a block away from where my workmate lives so for tomorrow we will carpool and Dan will drive his Jeep, which I usually drive when he is working. Even more fortunate, the temperature is supposed to start going up this weekend. 😊