Our weather has reverted to winter misery so I am in the house trying to keep occupied. I went through the photos on my husband’s phone to see how he views the world. (with his permission of course – I do not make a point of rifling through his phone😲). Enjoy!
That is it for today. Have a great day and stay safe!
I have been home for six days, hiding out from Covid-19. I don’t have the lungs to be comfortable taking chances with any contagious respiratory disease – especially one that does not have a cure. I am happy to lay low.
So far it hasn’t been too bad. My husband has been home for the past four days. Tomorrow he goes back for three twelve hour day shifts, followed by two twelve hour night shifts. Normally, I am used to it – but normally I am happy to have some alone time after being at work all week. Normally, I am not worried about my husband picking up a potentially fatal disease, or bringing it home to me, or passing it on to anyone else. Normally I am not the type of person who wants to throttle our premier for putting money and power and steel/pipe plants before people’s lives. Now things are not normal.
Anyway, I have been working on pulling myself together and being productive enough to keep myself from totally losing it. For the last couple of days, I have been working on becoming the domestic diva I plan to be once I retire at the end of July. My laundry (including bedding) is done, folded and put away, my house is somewhat tidy and our finances are in order.
Tomorrow it is supposed to start warming up outside. It will be easier once I can get outside and start cleaning up the yard, the barbecue, and the lawn furniture. It will be fun to start prepping and planning for our garden, flower beds and pond. It will be nice to get out and get some fresh air and SUNSHINE.
There are many careers that involve shiftwork. My husband Dan, works in the pipe mill of a steel plant that runs twenty-four seven. Currently they are working a five on four off/ four on five off mix of day and night twelve hour hour shifts. Shiftwork is never ideal but it has it’s benefits and it has definite challenges. Some of my thoughts, based on our experiences:
1) Shiftwork is brutal when it comes to living a healthy lifestyle. Your body is constantly trying to adjust to changes in routine. Eating, sleeping, lack of sunlight, too much sunlight – it is all hard on a body! In a steel plant, you have the additional challenges of air quality, noise, temperature control and dangerous work conditions.
2) Shiftwork can be a major strain on a relationship – especially if your partner works conflicting shifts or has a regular Monday to Friday 8 to 5 career. In our case, that has been a bit of a bonus. Our time together, day or night, is so random and rare, that twenty years in we still very much appreciate our time together and look forward to our retirement years together. There are, however, a lot of relationships that do not make it.
3) Shiftwork makes meal planning difficult to impossible. When I am working, Dan leaves for nightshifts before I get home from work. When I am home, we eat supper by 3:30 in the afternoon so we are not particularly hungry but are both snacking later in the evening. When Dan works days, I come home, make supper and wait hours before he comes home and is ready to eat. By the time we finish supper and clean up, our evening is over.
4) We have never had the challenge of raising a young family together but it has to be hard on both parents and the children. It is even harder raising children if the parents are not living together. A major change in shifts at Dan’s plant lately was a legal and logistical nightmare for many parents.
5) There are a few bonuses to shiftwork – Dan can handle vehicle repair and medical appointments and the like on his mid-week days off, there is almost always someone home with our dog, Dan can get peak golf times during the week when he is on days off, I come home to fresh cooked meals on Dan’s week days off (definitely a bonus as he is a great cook), and when he is off shift, he does have four or five days in a row to rest and recover. This will be especially nice once I retire and we can use such times to take short trips and get out of the city.
6) Workers who work shiftwork tend to have a special bond with their fellow workers (in a survivor mentality/shared pain type of way). They also tend to have an intense passion and dedication for the work that they do.
Overall, shiftwork can be challenging for a worker, their partner and their family. Like anything else, it takes work and it has it’s rewards!
It was 1994. With three teenagers to raise and provide for and a recent escape from unholy matrimony (as I referred to my first marriage), the last thing I wanted or needed in my life was a man. My life was good, happy and fulfilling.
For a couple of years things went along great. My kids and their friends filled our home with love and laughter. I filled it with groceries and other basic necessities. As the months went by, we were able to take my mother on an unforgettable family holiday. We moved from our little basement apartment to a much nicer and roomier duplex in a better part of the city. I traded in my battered and worn sedan for a sweet turbo charged convertible. Life was good.
The only downside to my life was that I was grieving the loss of my father who had recently passed away (although I always felt that he was very much with us through those years) and my health. I had lost an unhealthy amount of weight in previous years. I was working for a millwork company and was frequently in the warehouse, which was in the same building as our offices and showroom. I was, and am, asthmatic and seriously allergic to trees and everything tree related – wood, sawdust, wood smoke, feathers (birds have feathers and they live in trees). It still seems rediculous that I would put myself in such a situation but I loved the place and everyone in it.
Although everyone else at work was male, I didn’t really think anything of it and I didn’t really think anyone considered me as anything but one of the guys (who happened to always wear skirts, heels and makeup). A couple of years in, my bosses hired an autocad guy to work in the office. Since said bosses were busy on Dave’s first day, I took him out for lunch to welcome him to the team. He took the opportunity to hit on me. I told him in no uncertain terms that I did not date, would not date and dropped it. He did not, but he was not there long and he just never got anywhere with me. He did however, tell his friend Dan about the company. Dan had years of experience working for industrial steel companies. With a downturn in the economy, the company he had been working for went out of business and he had found himself unemployed.
Soon after, Dan walked into the office and asked to speak to Ken, one of my bosses. I took one look at him and ran to the other side of the warehouse to find Ken and to tell him that there was “a BIG native man there to see him”. (In my defence, I knew very few natives, had never seen a Hungarian before – and I was very sleep deprived at the time).
After a short interview, Ken hired Dan. Dan went home and was to start work in a couple of days. The day before he was scheduled to start, his mother passed away suddenly. He came to the office to explain the situation and his pain was obvious. He was very close to his mother. She was, to him and to all who knew her, a very special woman.
A few days later, Dan returned to start work. He was introduced to everyone and announced to the rest of the guys that he was there to work and marry the receptionist – me. Nobody told me of his plans or that he was Hungarian(which was totally irrelevant but it was hilarious that I was oblivious to the fact until a year later, after we had been living together for a month). I did however learn that he worked hard, took pride in his work, and that he stood up for himself and supported his fellow workers.
On July 31st, 1999 we were married. Our family and friends were there to support us. We had a beautiful wedding. We both agreed that as heaven’s gates opened for his mother, my father had been there to welcome her. Together they had conspired to bring us to each other.
By that point our economy had improved, Dan had gone to work at the pipe plant of our local steel factory and I had moved on to a healthier environment. We moved in to Dan’s house (an ongoing project) and we built a good life together. We have definitely had great times together, good times together and faced difficult and heart wrenching challenges together. We have come to love, respect and and admire each other. We have definitely learned to annoy each other and at times to take each other for granted.
This week, I realized how very much I love Dan, appreciate him and how perfectly suited we are for this life that we share. This week, Dan had a few days off between shifts. On Tuesday, I called him from work to tell him I was was very sick and struggling to breathe. He rushed over to pick me up and took me to the hospital emergency ward. He stayed by my side for six hours, on his last day off this week, to support me. When we got back home, he went to get my medication and pick up supper. The next evening, when he returned home from work, he told me some silly anecdote from work that made me laugh until my sides hurt. Last night we started talking about people winning large lotteries. I said my biggest concern, if we ever won, was that we would want such different things that it would be hard to find workable compromises. Dan agreed. Then we started talking about what each of us would want and our thoughts on the matter were almost identical. We had even both always thought of how important it was for us to show our appreciation to two special doctors. A few years ago Dan went to the emergency department with a blinding headache. A young doctor looked up from from his paperwork, yelled “get that man on a stretcher – he is septic” and proceeded to save Dan’s life. He was fantastic. My special doctor, went above and beyond to take care of me and keep Dan fully informed of what he was doing, after my lung collapsed and no one could repair it. He saved my lung (without surgery) for which I will always be grateful. Both of these men were such gifted physicians and such dedicated humanitarians – and they were both high on both of our lists of ‘lottery win’ priorities. (In the guise of their dream medical equipment I would expect).
I know – I had no want or need of a man in my life. Until he met me, Dan was quite content with his sports and his cat Hank. I am however, eternally grateful that my father and his mother felt otherwise.
‘I tip my hat to the keeper of our stars. They sure knew what they were when they joined these two hearts.’
Tomorrow is Saturday, which means Saturday morning shopping. Shopping is right at the top of things I do not like to do. When I have to go it alone, shopping is even worse. Dan is working nights this weekend, so alone it is.
The only good thing about Saturday morning shopping is going out for Saturday lunch. Since going out for lunch isn’t the same when Dan is working, I just go shopping. This obviously makes the shopping worse.
Finally, Dan and I have both been sick for a week or so. Last Saturday, Dan insisted on coming shopping, but once we got there he decided he didn’t feel well enough to actually shop, so I ran into Superstore to pick up a few groceries. The store was a zoo. Our Walmart, which is the only other ‘supermarket’ on this corner of the city has been closed for weeks due to cleanup from a small fire. Everyone has been shopping at Superstore.
I zipped through the aisles on hyperspeed, bypassing anything we didn’t need, I could not find, or was where I would have to play bumpercarts with those obnoxious customers who obviously knew what they needed and where it was. Not wanting to keep Dan waiting any longer than I had to, I zipped through the express cashier. I ran out to the Jeep with my haul – two sweaters, a scarf and a bag of Doritos. Dan decided he felt well enough to take me for lunch. (Maybe he just wasn’t hungry for Doritos)
This week we obviously need groceries. I will be on my own but I’m going to have to get it done. At least Walmart reopened a few days ago so us shoppers can spread out!