Seclusion 101 with AnneMarie

Nightmares

January 14, 2020January 14, 2020 by annemariedemyen, posted in family, life

Years ago, during my first marriage, I had nightmares on a regular basis. There were two nightmares that were particularly recurring. The first one would vary but I would dream that I awoke only to realize I was still dreaming. This would repeat over and over throughout the night. It was exhausting and frustrating. In the second nightmare, I was dead. The dream changed from night to night but I was constantly seeing my dead body. In one dream, my dead body was propped up in a child’s sandbox. It totally creeped me out that people were just letting their children play in the sand and no one even considered moving my body. It was disturbing to say the least.

After my first marriage ended, I read that the first dream was typical of someone who felt they were trapped in a hopeless situation. Relative to the second dream, I read that death in a dream represents the end of a situation. It blew me away how both of these dreams had been such an accurate depiction of my life at the time.

In the years since, I still tend to have very vivid dreams but I would not consider them to be nightmares. Most are just very wierd and it seems rediculous how realistic they seem at the time.

This morning, Dan left for work at 4 a.m., which is usual when he works the day shift. Kat got up to see if she would get fed, which she did not. As usual, she tried, and as usual she failed which meant coming back to bed and waking me up in the process.

I had two hours before I had to get up. Fortunately, I promptly fell back to sleep. That was the end of my good fortune. I experienced two hours of the most vivid and disturbing nightmares that I have had in decades. There were any number of details that I felt could be symbolic of something. What that would be is totally beyond me. I do think that overall these nightmares were relative to my current situation with my daughter. I have no idea if they were a good sign or bad. I looked them up on an online dream dictionary this morning but was none the wiser. Now I am annoyed, tired and confused. I hope this is not the beginning of another trend!

194 More Days

January 13, 2020January 13, 2020 by annemariedemyen, posted in retirement

194 Days until I am retired! I cannot wait for the freedom to get up and know I am free to plan my day around the weather and my personal whims 😊

I really thought that I would face retirement with some reluctance. The truth is, I am READY! I have enjoyed my career, especially my current position, but these last two years have been so frustrating and stressful an the past couple of weeks have brought so much miserable winter weather. I am just so ready to start this new chapter of my life. 💃💃💃💃

Injustice

January 10, 2020January 11, 2020 by annemariedemyen, posted in Social Issues

Today our local paper carried another article highlighting the obscene injustice in our courts.

In 2015, a forty-two year old (caucasian) man picked up a twenty-one year old prostitute and took her to the outskirts of our city. When he could not perform the sexual service he had contracted with her, he pushed her out of his truck, naked from the waist down and locked the door. In an effort to stop the man from driving away with her clothes, purse and cell phone, the woman ran around to the front of his truck. The man drove forward, knocking her down and drove over her legs, leaving her injured and unable to summon help. The woman managed to walk two blocks to the highway, where a good Samaritan picked her up and drove her to the hospital.

Last year, this man was found guilty of assault with a vehicle. This week he returned to court for sentencing.

The judge sentenced the man to ninety days in jail, to remind him and others that a vehicle cannot be used as a weapon, although he did note that he did not feel the man intended any harm but he was ‘wilfully blind’ to the harm his actions would cause. He also sentenced the man to a three year probation order, personal grief and trauma counselling as well as addiction treatment. Finally, to ensure this man did not feel too hard done by, the judge ordered that his jail time could be served on weekends so he could keep his job. It was noted that this poor deluded SOB had a record involving a number of serious offences but this was the first time he had ever been given a jail sentence.

Other than a few words noting that the victim had entered a victim impact statement in which she mentioned that she still suffers from nerve injury, there was no mention of the victim. There was certainly no indication of compassion or consideration towards her, as far as the judge was concerned.

There is so much wrong with this picture that I cannot even begin. Why are there so many of these entitled losers causing so much grief and harm to women? Why are the powers that be so reluctant to hold them accountable? This is disgusting, already.

Winter in Saskatchewan

January 8, 2020January 8, 2020 by annemariedemyen, posted in family, life

The mercury is dropping out of the thermometer so thought I would share a few pics of our winter season. These pictures are of years gone by as we have not gotten a lot of snow yet this year. We have however had a few days where the temperature has dropped to obscene nether regions so will take any sympathy I can get.☃️

On our way home from my son’s. They were having such a blizzard when we left that Dan could not see their driveway and drove over their lawn. We couldn’t resist sending them this pic when we stopped on the way home and saw this sign.😂

My favourite – icy roads at the crack of dawn😟

Angry & Frustrated

January 7, 2020January 7, 2020 by annemariedemyen, posted in life

Genie was not really upset or angry – she was just slightly indignant that her mother stole the cherry out of her milkshake (she got over it).

There are, however, a number of people in Saskatchewan who are truly angry and frustrated since our federal election last fall.

While I understand that they feel their livelihood and lifestyle is at stake, I do not agree with their attitude. Anger and frustration may give people the motivation to step up and take effective action in some situations but I do not see that happening here.

I just see a lot of angry, frustrated people. I see people call friends, family and neighbours derogatory names for not using their vote to support their cause. I see people being rude in service stations, banks and stores, elbowing their way past others or deliberately smashing their cart into someone else’s to pass them. I see people cutting others off in traffic and in parking lots. I see people on social media posting or sharing false ‘news’ to make ‘others’ look bad. I see people trash talking ‘others’ for being different. I just see way too much rude and ignorant behaviour and I see way too many who justify this behaviour because they are angry and frustrated.

I do not see how this type of behaviour helps anyone. I do not see how this encourages others to support our cause. I certainly do not see how this type of behaviour encourages other industries to look to Saskatchewan as a place to expand their businesses, which would help our economy to move forward.

We live in a province with a lot of potential. Our ancestors always worked together through difficult times and made it work – across our province and across our country. Now we are facing a time of economic versus environmental challenges in Saskatchewan and across Canada. We need to calm down and work together to resolve these issues – maturely and responsibly.

Saskatchewan

January 5, 2020January 5, 2020 by annemariedemyen, posted in family, life

My family moved to Saskatchewan when I was three. The province had, and continues to have, plenty to offer. Our air is clear, our water is clean. We have lakes and forests which offer summer and winter activities. We have small cities that are reasonably easy to navigate, while offering a variety of services one would expect from a larger centre.

Lunching at one of our many favourite restaurants

Our weather varies from one extreme to the other throughout the year, but overall it is predictable.

We have our share of social issues, but for the most part it is a relatively secure place to live. We have a number of industries – mining, agriculture, oil & gas, construction, to name a few – that offer a reasonable level of employment.

We have international airports in Saskatoon and Regina that offer us access to the rest of the world as well as local airports in smaller centres.

I would like to move back to Manitoba one day, but for now, Saskatchewan is home. 💖

Own It

January 4, 2020January 4, 2020 by annemariedemyen, posted in career, life

I have been working for over five decades now and have decided to share some thoughts on problem resolution in the workplace (or in life in general). There seems to be a need these days🙂

The most successful and effective people I have known are the ones who recognize an issue, give it some serious consideration, and deal with it.

There are several ineffective ways to deal with an issue and I am pretty sure I have seen them all.

1. Blame someone else – This does nothing to address the issue and abdicates any power one has to deal with the issue. If you are absolutely responsible for causing an issue and you try to blame others, it will be obvious. 😐

2. Make excuses – Nobody cares and it does not resolve the issue. You may have to explain how the issue arose but that must be followed by a resolution or at least a commitment to find a resolution to the issue. 👍

3. Ignore the issue and expect it to go away. If it is your issue to address, it will not go away. It certainly will not go away without causing further damage. If there is truly nothing you can do to address an issue, you can still choose an effective way to react to it. 🙂

4. Allowing yourself to be the helpless victim. It is all there. Victims are helpless. Even if you were totally innocent and have been hurt deliberately in the worst possible way by someone, do not allow yourself to be victimized. Even if the only thing you can do is work on resolving your own pain and suffering, do that. If you wait for someone else to resolve a situation or repair the damage it has done to you, it will never happen.

Acting the helpless victim at work is particularly non-helpful. Employers, employees, co-workers, customers, suppliers and other business contacts are looking for you to be competent and effective. If you are looking to succeed in your position, that is the face you need to show. 🙂

5. Lie, cheat or steal. Any negative response to an issue is not going to have a positive result – ever! 🙁

6. Act oblivious and clueless. Seriously, is that how you want people to see you? If you want to be treated as a professional, act like one. 🤔

7. Scream, swear, throw things, kick things. None are mature. None are helpful. None are professional. 🤯

8. Avoid the issue. If there is work to be done, or an issue to be addressed just do it. This is not the time to take a week off.

One final thought. Accept that some situations are hopeless. If there are ongoing issues that you do not have the power or authority to deal with, work towards a viable exit plan. There are options but think them through and ensure you are not leaving one bad situation for another.

Happy New Year

January 1, 2020 by annemariedemyen, posted in life

Wishing everyone a Happy New Year and all the best for this brand new decade. No one knows what lays before us but I have never felt better about a decade. Good, bad or ugly, whatever 2020 and the next decade throws at us, I know I am ready. I honestly feel strong and confident enough to handle whatever comes our way. 🕊️

The Care Bears are Coming to Our Town

December 31, 2019December 31, 2019 by annemariedemyen, posted in family, Social Issues

Fifteen years ago we bought our granddaughter a pink ride on car that played an annoying little Care Bear song. Genie loved that car and rode it non-stop for two summers. She obviously had her mother’s love for being at the wheel – and her questionable taste in music 😂. Six months ago, at fifteen and a half, Genie got her learners license and bought her mother’s mini van. Yesterday, less than a week after her sixteenth birthday, Genie went through her driver’s test and passed on her first try. 👍

Having her license, and her own vehicle, will be a good thing in a lot of ways. Genie will be able to drive herself and her younger brother, Rory, to highschool. She will be able to drive herself to work. She will be able to run errands and take her little sisters places they need to go. She will have the freedom to take herself places that may not otherwise be accessible to her. It will be an asset on future resumes. There are a lot of positives.

Of course, this independence comes with a lot of responsibility and concern for those of us who love her. When Genie gets upset, she walks or rides her bike – for miles. She can go so much farther, so much faster, with real wheels beneath her. Will she drive when she is upset? There are other less responsible and less kind teenagers that do not have a vehicle or their license yet. Will they take advantage of our sweet little girl who has worked so hard for what she has? Then of course, we live in Saskatchewan. For the better part of each year, our roads are covered with ice and snow and our dark of night extends long into what should be daylight hours. Driving is challenging for experienced drivers, how dangerous will it be for our newbie? Finally, Genie will be sharing the road with a host of other drivers, some who should not be behind the wheel of a vehicle. Will she have the skill to avoid them?

There are some steps to independence and adulthood that are more notable and daunting for teenagers and those of us who love them. This is a big one. Fortunately, we know Genie is responsible. We know she will not abuse this privilege or take this responsibility lightly. Still, we hear echoes of the Care Bear song and suddenly she is our innocent, vulnerable, baby girl again. 😲