Seclusion 101 with AnneMarie

Emotions

September 3, 2020 by annemariedemyen, posted in dealingwithstress

Since January 1st of this year, I have been committed to focussing on peace. I have written pages and pages of positive affirmations relative to peace. I have walked miles and miles around our neighbourhood and through our local park, focussing on the peaceful ambiance of nature. I try to keep peace a part of my day from morning to night.

Recently, I have felt that my life has become more peaceful. I am getting better at accepting the things I cannot change. I am becoming more patient. I tend to be less anxious and I worry less than I used to. As a bonus, my physical health has been improving, which makes me feel better over-all.

It seems even the people around me are less anxious and stressed than they were in the past. Maybe I was just projecting my stress onto them? Either way, life seems more peaceful.

Until a few nights ago… Suddenly I had a dream about my ex-inlaws. I dreamt that they came to celebrate Christmas with us. I have not had any contact with them for many years. I seldom think of them. Nonetheless, I dreamt they showed up for Christmas. I was so angry, hateful and cruel to them that even in my dream I was shocked at how mean and nasty and terrible I was. I woke up feeling horrid for how I treated them in my dream.

I have no idea what that was all about. I do not know if I was unconsciously releasing all of my pent up unpeaceful thoughts and emotions. I certainly do not know why I would have spewed it all at my ex-inlaws. They have never been my favourite people but I have certainly known people I had more reason to hate on.

Emotions are so strange. Memories, dreams, or even fictional stories about fictional people can overwhelm us with joy or grief, anger, or fear. That is wierd and unsettling in a way. How we feel often guides us to what we say or how we act. But what about when our feelings are not even remotely based on our actual circumstances? Then what are they for? Hmmm….

The Upside of Retirement

September 2, 2020 by annemariedemyen, posted in retirement

I am kidding! Retirement is the upside😂

Back in the day, walking from my vehicle to my office on a rainy day brought a new level of misery to any day.

I just got back from my hour long morning walk (in the rain) with my somewhat damp and smelly dog. It was pure BLISS.

Rain or shine, I hope you are having a great day🤗

Finding My Tribe

August 29, 2020August 29, 2020 by annemariedemyen, posted in life

One of the ubiquitous phrases I have noticed on social media recently relates to ‘finding one’s tribe’. Since I am about as about as outgoing as your basic hermit, I didn’t really think this was a quest that I would ever embark on.

Today I realized that I am less of a hermit and more of a nomad. I have always had a ‘tribe’. As a child, I had my family and my fellow schoolmates. As a young wife and mother, I had my own family and my neighbours. As my children grew up and I became a solid member of the workforce, I had employers, fellow employees, suppliers and customers. When my children became even older, my tribe grew to include a parade of amazing and entertaining grandchildren.

With my retirement, my children and grandchildren getting busy with their own lives, and my siblings some distance away, I truly felt my tribe dwindling down to my husband and my little dog, Kat. Between work and golf for my husband, it was often pretty much me and my dog.

Except that, since I have started blogging, I have met many interesting and wonderful people on WordPress. I look forward to seeing their posts and I enjoy seeing that they have read mine. 🙂 I truly enjoy exchanging the random comments. I have met people I have much in common with, people I have something surprisingly in common with and some whom I find thoroughly fascinating because we seem to have nothing in common. 🤷

I have started meeting our neighbours and found that I once again enjoy the time it takes for a front yard chat. I even had one little neighbour over for a playdate with my grandson recently.

And I have started to meet and greet the regulars that I meet on my morning walks. There is one woman I have spoken to a few times. This morning, we had a lengthy chat. One topic led to another. I swear we have been living in a parellel universe for the past sixty-five years. I look forward to meeting up with her on a regular basis.

Whether I was searching or not, I seem to be finding my new tribe!

Working It!

August 27, 2020August 27, 2020 by annemariedemyen, posted in life

As summer winds down and Dan has returned to work, things are coming together.

Kat is grounded for a few days with a sore paw (seems to be a bit of a sprain). As long as she is limping, even a little bit, I think it is better for her to stay home and rest when I take my daily walk.

I miss Kat on my walks but it gives me a bit of freedom to pick up the pace and extend my walks. This morning I went 5.5 kilometers! YAY!

I had my five year old grandson Dominic for a few hours yesterday. His father (my son) wanted his middle name to be ‘Danger’ when he was born. There are days when that would have been so appropriate. Yesterday was one of the days! He was full of energy and bad ideas from the minute he arrived. Fortunately, I was able to channel most of that energy into creative and slightly messy activities.

I finally fertilized and soaked all of our cedars. That was a two or three day project but I am glad that it is done.

I scrubbed the deck on the kids’ playhouse, wiped down the railing and polished the lites. I usually have that done much earlier in the season but it was one of those things that I just did not get around to. 🙄

I trimmed and mowed our lawn last evening after Dan went to work. I even got the grass clippings bag hauled to the back gate and into the trash bin! I was so proud of myself. 🤗

I also cleaned all the branches and debris off of our neighbours lawn, mowed it, and swept her driveway. Our neighbour lost her husband a few years ago and a couple of years later suffered a serious stroke. She is in a rehabilitation/longterm care centre. They took a lot of pride in their home and took such good care of it. I do not know why there is no one to maintain it or check up on it now. They both had family living around here. 🤷 We take turns with the neighbour on the other side of it doing what we can – making the lawn looked taken care of. We are just trying to make it look somewhat lived in until someone takes it over.

Hope everyone is having a great week! Take care out there💓

Covid-19 Related Deaths

August 26, 2020August 26, 2020 by annemariedemyen, posted in Social Issues

Covid-19 has been one of the most all encompassing social situations that we have experienced in decades. This challenge has been particularly onerous for government and health officials who have been tasked with creating a mandate to deal with it. There have been life and death decisions to make and limited time to make them.

When the first cases of Covid-19 began to spread globally, people wholeheartedly supported their government’s efforts to control this potentially deadly threat. Certainly that was the case in Canada.

Our federal and provincial governments stepped up with aggressive plans to prevent an onslaught of cases which had been seen in other countries. To date we have been relatively fortunate – especially in provinces like Saskatchewan where our population density is particularly low.

Since we have been spared the catastrophe that other areas have experienced, people are beginning to question whether our governments and health officials overreacted or used this situation to overreach their authority.

I have to admit that I was shocked and concerned to learn that our government had all but shut down health services in Saskatchewan. Since I was suffering from health issues at the time, this was something that immediately caught my attention and it seemed like a really bad idea. I had no reason to believe that my health issues were potentially life threatening but I was concerned none the less. My concern was moreso for those whose health issues were far more serious than mine. People who had, or who would develop, cancer, heart disease, strokes, kidney failure, and the like. These people would require more than a phone consultation with their family physician or urgent care in an emergency room. As I thought it through, I realized that what health services we had could not be compromised and that maintaining regular health services would be a threat in itself for the spread of Covid 19. The whole situation was mind boggling.

Last week, one local family experienced their worst nightmare. Their nineteen year old son died from massive heart failure. It is possible that his death could have been prevented if he had had a routine scheduled cat scan which may have identified the potential problem before it became fatal. My heart goes out to this young man and his family. No parent can imagine the pain of losing a child. No parent could possibly deny this family has been devastated by not only the loss of their son, but a loss that could potentially have been prevented. One has to wonder how many other lives have been lost under similar circumstances.

It would be easy to blame our government and health officials for such losses but what decisions would we have made under current circumstances? How does one choose when there is so much at stake?

I am grateful that I was not tasked with making any of the decisions to deal with Covid-19. I am grateful for those who were.

My heart goes out to all who paid the price for the decisions that were made to protect us all.

The Power of Peace

August 25, 2020August 25, 2020 by annemariedemyen, posted in dealingwithstress

When I retired earlier this year I had plans for a grand and productive summer. My ‘to do’ list was impressive, to say the least. I also had high hopes that this would be my year for resolving major personal issues – health, family, finances.

Summer is coming to a close and my ‘to do’ list is more of a ‘didn’t get done’ list. My issues are still there – health, family, finances. My life is not perfect.

But… here is the thing. I have been having a great summer. After decades of stress and anxiety, I have actually experienced moments of profound peace. I have felt totally fearless – in sync with nature and the universe. This is the most amazing and powerful feeling and it is becoming less random and fleeting. My life may not be perfect but it is improving and I am better equipped to deal with any challenges that I am faced with.

I have always enjoyed walking but it is something that I have not done enough of for the past several years. This summer I walked and I walked and I walked. It started off as a means to cope with health issues I was having. Following a bout of pneumonia, I could not seem to recover. I struggled to breathe and my heart would race after the slightest exertion. With respiratory specialists and therapists closed down to prevent the spread of Covid 19, I was left to my own devices. My device of choice was walking. At first, I could barely make it to the end of our block and back. Now I head out before the heat of the day and I walk for miles.

As I walk, I allow my mind to wander wherever it chooses to roam. Whatever chaos my mind decides to pursue mellows as I walk off the miles. Personal problems come into perspective. Global issues fade. There is always a turning point where instead of feeling attacked by fearful thoughts, I feel empowered. I take control and I choose. My choice is always peace.

There is so much anger and fear and hate in this world. I choose to not contribute to it. When my mind pursues anxious thoughts, I focus on peace and love. When I worry about my health, I remind myself that stress will not help my body to recover. Walking will, so I walk. When I get frustrated or concerned about my family, I wrap them in thoughts and feelings of peace and love. When I worry about our finances, I realize how fortunate we are – and I choose to be grateful for all that we have.

When my mind starts rehashing the news of the day or the reactions on social media, I refuse to dwell on these thoughts or add to the noise. I focus on peace and I move on, considering how and why I feel the way I do. I have learned a lot about myself during my walks and have become more focused on my own thoughts and beliefs. It is no longer a matter of fighting the belief of others. It is about my beliefs ringing true. If, or when, I share my thoughts and beliefs, I am no longer seeking validation or holding a do or die attitude about them. They work for me.

Despite my lack of accomplishments this summer, I feel good about how I have used these pasts months. I feel that I have evolved into a stronger, better person. Hopefully, I will knock a few projects off of my ‘still to get done’ list in the coming months. Hopefully my life will continue to improve and my issues will gradually resolve themselves. Either way, I will continue to move forward – one step at a time.

Take care out there💞

Back to Business

August 24, 2020August 24, 2020 by annemariedemyen, posted in life

After a month of holidays, my husband headed back to work this morning. I would say we are back to our normal schedule, but with his twenty four/ seven shifts we do not really have a normal schedule.

It has been a nice month. We did not accomplish a lot but it was relaxing having Dan home. I spent a lot of time walking my dog, getting in shape and clearing my thoughts. It is amazing the things you think about when you are wandering the same streets and paths day after day. I plan to share some of those thoughts on my blog in the days to come.

I hope everyone has had a nice summer. With September just around the corner, our summer days will soon be gone. 😢

More Summer in Saskatchewan

August 13, 2020August 13, 2020 by annemariedemyen, posted in Uncategorized

Dan went on his annual golf trip last week. He and his golfing buddy went down to the southwest corner of the province to play Whitebear and Kenosee for three days. He took a few photos for me.

Since he has been back he has been getting busy around here. He replaced the springs on the garage door, which was a pretty impressive accomplishment. He also got the tires changed on the boat trailer. That was not quite as impressive, but it needed to be done.

I have not been too busy but I have been walking my dog every morning. I have also been puttering around the yard, picking fresh tomatoes, cucumbers, and zucchinis.