After a month of holidays, my husband headed back to work this morning. I would say we are back to our normal schedule, but with his twenty four/ seven shifts we do not really have a normal schedule.
It has been a nice month. We did not accomplish a lot but it was relaxing having Dan home. I spent a lot of time walking my dog, getting in shape and clearing my thoughts. It is amazing the things you think about when you are wandering the same streets and paths day after day. I plan to share some of those thoughts on my blog in the days to come.
I hope everyone has had a nice summer. With September just around the corner, our summer days will soon be gone. 😢
It is hard to believe how busy one can be doing very little of consequence. In my quest to putter around to keep occupied – without actually investing a lot of effort into my mission – I managed to snap a few random shots to share.
Probably the most iconic landmark in Regina is the Albert Street Bridge. The Albert Street Bridge is the longest bridge over the shortest span of water in the world. It is situated off the entrance of our beautiful Wascana Park and the Saskatchewan Legislative Building grounds.
I hope you have a beautiful day to get out and do some sight seeing today. In these days, when travel is discouraged, there are sights worth exploring close to home.
For as long as I can remember, I have been a deep sleeper and a rediculously vivid dreamer. Naturally, I find dreams fascinating.
Long ago, I found a dictionary of dreams and what they mean – Dream Moods Dictionary. I still refer to it from time to time and it is so amazing how much sense it makes at times, especially with recurring dreams.
There was a time in my life when I had three recurring dreams. In my first dream, I started off in my actual house at that time – except the room I was in led to one strange room after another with no end of rooms until I woke up. My second dream varied but I would dream that I had awoken only to realize I had still been asleep and had only dreamt I had awoken. This dream would play out over and over and over! My third dream was about my death. I would see my dead body in strange places. People would just ignore my body like it was normal to see a corpse sitting in a sandbox, surrounded by little children. That was deeply disturbing! All of these dreams were during the last few years of my first marriage when I was feeling very much trapped. The closer I got to the end of my marriage, the more frequently I had the death dream. I was amazed when I eventually read that the first two dreams were relative to feeling trapped in a bad situation and that dreams of death signify the end of a difficult situation. (Dreams of infants signify new beginnings). It made so much sense!
There is another recurring dream that I have had throughout my adult life. I dream I am back in school and cannot remember my locker combination or find where my classroom is. A few months ago my sister was here and I had this dream. After she left, I looked for a meaning for this dream and I found one that made perfect sense. This dream signifies feelings of inadequacy and insecurity. That sums up my feelings about all of my siblings – all four sisters and one brother – all my senior. I grew up never being as fast as them, as smart as them, as graceful as them, as strong as them – I could never catch up to them when I was growing up! It is funny that subconsciously, I still feel that way when we get together.
Does anyone else have similar dreams? Do you have strange recurring dreams that you would like some insight into? Check out ‘Dream Moods Dictionary’. You just have to Google it – it is online and totally free.
Now if I could just figure out how to control which dreams I have – like going to the channel guide on our television remote. I could have a super sweet night life if I figured that one out!
Why do so many people waste their lives trying to convince others that they themselves are ‘better’ ? Or that others are ‘not good enough‘ ? Better than what – or not good enough for what? Why is life a contest and who made the rules? And why does our society seem to be getting so much worse and less tolerant?
I grew up in small town Saskatchewan. People were not judged by race or sexuality. We were rather oblivious to the major global issues in those days before internet access.
That is not to say that there was no bigotry and ignorance. People were judged by different criteria. From my earliest days, I was well aware of the judgemental nature of small town Saskatchewan. I was French Catholic and to make matters worse, my family lived on the lower end of the economic scale of things.
I grew up knowing that I was not good enough. From my earliest days, I did not understand why. I was kind – certainly kinder than those who dismissed me or taunted me for being ‘not good enough’. I was honest. I was as smart as any child in our school. I was always close to, or top of, my class academically. I was as attractive as any of the other children in my school (at least in my mind). I was physically challenged (I still am) – but who cares? It was not like my goals in life ever revolved around how far I could throw a ball, how fast I could run or how high I could jump. I did not understand why, but I was made very much aware that I was ‘not good enough’.
When I grew up I was often reminded that I was ‘not good enough’. I married into an Anglo-Saxon family who felt they were very much ‘better’ than anyone and certainly better than my family and I. I was constantly reminded that I was not good enough for them. My mother-in-law felt badly for the way they ‘had’ to treat me but she did once tell me that I would understand one day when my sons grew up and married cheap tramps. (Jokes on her – I have two daughters in law and both are amazing women – each in their own way!).
While there have been many good, kind people in my life, there has always been enough ignorant and judgemental neighbours, co-workers, employers, etc. around to remind me that I was ‘not good enough’. I do not know why I ever let them bother me, but I did.
It has taken me to retirement to realize I truly am done with people and their games and attitudes. I am happy living my little life of secluded retirement. I do not care who I am good enough for. I do not care about trying to be ‘better’ to meet their criteria for ‘good enough’.
I am good enough for my husband, my dog, and most of my family (depends on the day🙄). I am good enough for my current neighbours. I am good enough to enjoy the sun, clouds, rain, trees, flowers and rocks. I am good enough to enjoy the life that I am living. I am good enough to face myself in any mirror and know that I am a good person. I continue to learn and change as life goes on but I am now and I always will be, good enough for me!
It has been a relatively uneventful day today. I was up at six a.m. compliments of Kat – our little dog has to eat.
After coffee and checking out the news (such as it was), I got ready to go shopping with Dan. Our first stop was Superstore. I ran in to the smoke shop to get Dan cigarettes. (I haven’t smoked since 2010 – I should never smoke again but I am keeping my options open). The clerk was none other than Grandpa’s Genie. I ‘accidentally’ left the cigarettes on the counter so Dan would have to run in to see her. 🤣
We travelled on to Walmart to pick up a few items. There was a big sale on TP. We should now be good through to the next pandemic.
We came home. I changed into shorts and a light top to give Bob the Boulder a bath with the pressure washer. It was supposed to be 31 above (celcius) – it was not.
I froze my butt off and took all the shrapnel I could handle before going in to change – again! I put on a black sweater and pants (the closest I have to a ski-doo suit) poured myself a glass of wine and headed back to the frigid outdoors.☃️
There wasn’t a cloud to be seen. It was hot as hell! I powered through the wine and headed back in to change into something cooler while Dan made us icy cold Caesars. 😊
Fortunately we picked up hotdogs and buns for supper. After wine and a Caesar, I am not up to cooking anything too challenging. 😉
Dan and I had a productive day yesterday so today it is all rest and relaxation. Dan left to go golfing at 6 am so it is just Kat and I. We are going for a walk and then spending the day hanging out in the yard. It is supposed to be a sunny 31 degrees above (celsius) so should be a perfect day for doing next to nothing.
I also got a bit more yard clean-up done and washed down the patio set (again) so we are pretty much ready to spend some time enjoying our yard.